...And they lived happily ever after.

On November 3rd my Husband, kids, mother, step-father, and mother in law all came with me on a three day Disneyland trip! It was my "Happy Ending" to this surrogacy. For me it was important to have a celebration with my family, something to look forward to since we didn't have a baby to take home.

We flew into Santa Ana Airport and boarded a huge bus with Mater and Lightning McQueen on the side. My kids were already beginning to get super excited at the prospect of meeting Mickey and Minnie, the bus just intensified it all. We arrived at our hotel, The Grand Californian and checked in on the 6th floor since we had the concierge service rooms. Our two bedrooms were secluded and connected so we could open our conjoining door and send my kids in to wake up the grandparents at 7:30am. Joke was on them though, Grandma and Grandpa were already up and dressed that first day to go have breakfast at Goofy's Kitchen. We were led to our seats and I loaded up a plate of goodies for my kids and got back in time to see Dale from Chip & Dale arrive at our table. Hunter was ecstatic. I cried while I watched my son's huge smiling face laugh at the chipmunk and give him a hug and high five. I wonder if the people who play those characters realize what a huge impact they have on children. That morning Dale, Daisy, Minnie, and Goofy came to see us! Hunter and Emma had such an amazing time, I even had to chase Emma down because she started to follow Minnie around.

We spent the first day at Disneyland and the second at California Adventure. I even got to see my IM!! She or her driver came each morning to the Hotel to pick up the milk I pumped so I didn't have to worry about storing it. I was able to give her a big hug and chat in the lobby for a while. I also met IF's mom and was able to see his dad again! They were in town visiting Alaya for the first time.

We had such an amazing trip, and I was so happy my mother in law was able to join us as well. It was truly a once in a lifetime experience.

and now the question everyone has been asking me.. "Will you do surrogacy again?" and the answer is ABSOLUTELY!! Even my husband says I should do it again. I'm so happy he's supportive of it, haha even though I am not ready just yet. I have to wait until at least June. there is a 9 month waiting period to heal, I will be taking a little more time than that, but remaining in contact with my agency because I do plan to do it again.

If you wish to follow my family's story in the meantime I keep a personal blog separately from this surrogacy one at http://theoestreichs.blogspot.com

My next post will be around Christmas time when IM IF and baby Alaya come for a visit! :)

Pictures from Labor...

These amazing images were taken by my IP's close friend Oetomo. He is also in Instgram as "Oetomofoto" his work is beautiful and I am so happy he was able to capture these precious moments on film.

                                                                        38 Weeks!

                                         Daddy feeling his daughter move for the first time.

                                              Jason timing my contractions on a phone app.

             My IP's family nanny feeling Alaya and saying "Yes she is coming." Oh and Emma. ;)

                                                      Jason and I in front of our house.

                                       In the observation room waiting and being monitored.

 When mom walked into the room and spoke, her daughter's heart rate jumped on the monitor...she knew her mommy was there.

    Mom feeling her daughter moving around. I could honestly feel their connection. It was incredible.



(More pictures to come.)

Recovery and Reflection

Today I am 5 days post partum and I can honestly say that I am feeling amazing! I know a lot of my friends and family have asked how I'm feeling and I know they mean physically as well as emotionally. I am so pleased to honestly say that I am feeling exactly as I hoped I would. I feel peaceful, complete. The birth and delivery of Alaya to her parents was exactly what I hoped it would be and I feel as if I lived through a real life happy ending. When I held Alaya it was very surreal. I felt absolutely no maternal connection to her whatsoever and that really surprised me. I was prepared to feel some, but I honestly felt more pleasure seeing my IM holding her baby that I did holding her myself. I guess that means I really am meant to be a surrogate! If I miss anyone, it's my IPs. Haha we all became so close during this journey and now they are home in LA and living as a family. They feel closer than friends, they feel like family. They showered my children with love, and lovingly shared their daughter with my children, allowing Hunter to hold her in the hospital room. Hunter hasn't questioned where the baby went because he knows. He saw Alaya with her mommy and daddy and his image of their family is complete now.

I came home on Monday afternoon and my husband (or should I call him superman ) has done everything with our children this whole week. I have been able to rest, and nap, and really recover. Its incredible. I'm finally feeling well enough to do a little bit more walking. We went to Target yesterday so I could buy some new bras, and that was about as much as I could handle. I started to feel dizzy and exhausted, and he took us home and had me nap. My bleeding is almost stopped now, but my hips and tail bone are still quite sore from pushing as well as the baby being stuck behind my tailbone for a while. I think I expected to be completely better and recovered after 3 days...but no.. pushing a tiny human out of your body really is a huge deal and takes a while to recover from.

I'm pumping right now, every 2-3 hours depending on if I am napping or how sore I am. I have a nice stock pile of milk ready in the freezer to ship to my IPs this coming monday. I'm so excited to be able to provide this for them. :)

One thing I noticed with surrogacy at least in my case, is that people are less likely to visit you in your home or bring by dinners etc I think because there is no baby here. That's fine with me, we got some freezer meals before I delivered because we kind of expected that the after environment would be different. My Mom, step dad, dad, and grandparents visited me in the hospital which was exactly what I needed. I was happy to not be swamped with visitors because it allowed me to sleep almost the whole day. It was great. :) If you are a surrogate and getting ready to deliver, just prepare yourself that the time afterwards when you are home will be calmer, and different. I have also been asked if I would ever consider being a surrogate again. Here is my 2 part answer..

1) If I did decide to become a surrogate again for a couple, it wouldn't be for a few years. The most difficult part of this surrogacy was having young children who still needed me quite often and through the night. It was physically draining for me at times.

2) This experience with my IPs was so wonderful and amazing that I have real hesitation to every do it again. I ended the experience on such a high note, that I doubt I could ever find another couple and situation that worked so perfectly together again. Maybe God had me become a surrogate solely so that I could help this couple..maybe God has another couple waiting for me in a few years that I will be so moved to help again. I dont know. But I do know that this was such a positive and perfect time that I dont see how it could every be this wonderful again. :) But we shall see...


This Friday is Jason and my 5 year anniversary and I am very excited to go to dinner at the Leatherneck Steakhouse in SF. It will be a marvelous reason to dress up, do my hair, and enjoy a glass of wine after almost a year of no drinking.

Welcome to the world Alaya! (A birth story)

On August 15th at roughly 3pm, while talking through the window to my neighbors next door, I began having the "real deal" contractions. It started off slowly, one every 10 minutes or so, but I could tell that these contractions were more intense than the ones that brought me into the hospital the previous week. I began walking slowly around the house getting things ready in case I had to go in. I grabbed some clean sheets out of the closet and put them folded on my bed for when my mom spent the night, I arranged Emma and Hunter's night clothes etc and began cooking dinner. I made Bachwurst, pesto cous cous, and began snapping the ends off of green beans to steam. Several times I had to stop and breathe through the contractions. They were getting more painful and closer together. I told Jason he should start timing them, and sure enough they were a pretty consistent 5 minutes apart. I sent my IF and IM a text message telling them what was going on and that after we ate dinner we would be heading into the hospital. My mom and step dad arrived about 20 minutes later and at this point I was positive I was in real labor. I braced my hand against the wall at one point and my mom looked at me and said "I've seen THAT face before...those are the real contractions." and she gave me a hug before Jason and I grabbed our bags. I gave Hunter a big hug and told him that mommy was going to the Dr's now to have IM and IF's baby. He threw his arms up and said "Yay and then we go to Disneyland!!!" I laughed and said "Yes buddy but not tonight. ;) Disneyland is our family trip we have planned in celebration of the completion of this surrogacy. Needless to say he's a little excited.

Jason drove very carefully to Kaiser in San Leandro. The hospital is brand new and when we got there they were extremely busy. I sat on the Observation room bed and really began to struggle with the labor pains. The midwife who was on duty was a lovely woman named Summer. She checked me and said I was at 4-5cm and that she was going to admit me. "Lets have a baby tonight!" she said, and I could not agree more. I was so physically exhausted from 5 days of contactions I could have probably cried if I wasn't so excited. I messaged IF that they were admitting me, but I still hadn't heard back from them. I thought they would have been there an hour ago, but they walked in shortly after we were put into the LAST available delivery room (which also happened to be the largest.) IM said that IF was so nervous and excited that he drove the wrong way and ended up in Napa before turning around to come back. We all laughed and said that it will make a good story to tell Alaya when she is older. "Your dad was so excited that you were coming that he drove all the way to wine country before anyone realized he was in the wrong place...oops!"

Labor with this third pregnancy was very different from what I had with my own kids. I was very slow to progress. It took me 7 hours and I was still only at 5-6cm and my contractions began to space apart again. Jason, IM and IF all got comfortable with pillows and blankets in chairs and on the couch, and we all tried to get some rest before things would get crazy. It was so surreal to me, laying there in the dark with half my body numb, seeing this couple laying together asleep and waiting for their daughter. I couldn't believe it was Christmas when we found out I was pregnant. A nurse came in and they put me on a very low dose of Pitocin and that was enough to give me some GOOD contractions. 2 hours later I was 8cm and the Midwife on duty Fae, broke my bag of water. I told her "Don't go far...I progress really quickly after my bag of water breaks." She left the room and 3 minutes later I felt the incredible urge to push.  Jason got up and stood with me as the nurse started running around the room setting things up. She pulled tools out, and turned the baby table warmer on, and ran to get Midwife Fae back. Fae began suiting up and I was literally holding my breath to keep from pushing. Jason got a wet rag because he remembered that I  get really warm while pushing and he wiped my face. IM put on a nursing gown in the bathroom so that she could hold her daughter right away for skin to skin. She stood down at my feet with Jason and IF stood by my head with his camera taking pictures.

When that moment comes where its time to push, there is this glorious feeling of "I can do this!" and it doesn't matter if things hurt (which they did) because you are so close to the end. I grabbed my thighs and tilted my elbows out, chin to my chest and pushed. My midwife said several times that I was an excellent pusher. She came down really quickly. After 25 minutes I stretched out to try and get her head out from under my tailbone. she was apparently face up and it took a while to get her out from under my tailbone. I could feel her head crowning, and in between pushed while I breathed, I began to get emotional. It was an odd moment to be suspended in. I could see IM, anticipating and seeing her daughters head, Jason was with one hand on my shoulder and one with the cool wet rag, and I could feel IF behind me. My nurse was giving quiet calming words of encouragement and my midwife was intently ready and helping baby's head work its way slowly. I took a deep breath and pushed, lots of "Yes Corinne that' it..push push push...just like that...ok now stop." and I breathed and concentrated so she could do something with the baby before I pushed again and the rest of her came out. They put her on my tummy so they could clamp the umbelical cord and IM was right beside me holding my hand as we both wept. She and I hugged crying, as she saw her daughter's face for the first time, laying on me. "Thank you..thank you....thank you..." she kept saying. IF had the biggest smile and he was beside me on my other side and he cut the cord. Jason was at my feet, arms folded and eyes wet as he smiled at me from behind the family we helped to create. It was a moment where I could feel his love for me from across the room, and I just loved him even more for being my rock. The nurse wiped Alaya off and handed her to her mommy. IM wrapped her and held her close to her chest as she walked to a chair across the room. Jason came over and gave me a tender kiss and stood beside me as I was sewn up. I had 2nd degree tears but it was all on the surface, luckily no inside tearing. There was nothing in the world that made me happier in that moment than looking over and seeing IM and IF lost in their daughter. She was calm, quiet, and nicely pink in her mommy's arms. They were a family. I helped create that, and I was so humbled as if standing before a true footprint of God in life. That moment was so rich in love and mercy that I was positive I could feel God in that room. Present as He answered a much repeated prayer.

After I was cleaned up, IM's mother and father came into the room. I was surprised with IM's mother came straight to me first. She grabbed both of my hands and with tears in her eyes she kissed both of my cheeks and said "I will never forget this....I will never forget this..thank you..thank you...You are my daughter.. you are family." I teared up and she went over to kiss IM and her new grand daughter. Im's father also gave me a big hug and kissed both of my cheeks before walking to see his daughter. The next moment is one that will live in my memory forever... the three of them..Mother, Father, daughter and grand daughter...they wept together and Im's mother kissed her forehead and blessed the baby. I took a picture of them in that quiet and intimate moment, and looking at it will always cause me to cry I think. Such relief, and peace in one photo after years of loss and heart ache. It was beautiful.

After a few hours, they moved IM and IF into their own recovery room, and I into mine. I was able to sleep immediately and Jason rested a little before heading home to relieve my mom and take over with the kids. That night IM and IF brought Alaya to my room and we relaxed and chatted for a good 2 hours. I was able to hold her for a little while and she is so cute!! (At the request of her parents I will not be showing pictures of her face yet..they have some people they would like to share with first so it will be a few months or so.) I gave them some gifts, I got IM an necklace that says "A mother's love has no end" and for the two of them a sculpture from my favorite artist. Its called Willow and the carving is of a mother father and little baby embracing. I am currently still here at the hospital recovering, but they were released today to go home. They will visit again tomorrow before driving back to LA. I am so very excited for them to begin their life together as a family. Hunter was able to hold Alaya and see them as a family so that was a nice finish to the story for him. He now sees that she is safely with her mommy and daddy. I will be discharged tomorrow at 11, and then I can go home and rest. This whole surrogacy experience has been amazing.. I went in with high hopes and expectations and all of those were exceeded. Such a beautiful finish to an amazing journey. :)

Alaya 6lbs 11oz 19 1/4inches long at 10am Aug 16th.  :)

37 weeks and 3 days..early labor and 3 trips to the hospital.

Why isn't labor as clear cut and easy as on television? Thats what I want to know. Ideally I should be walking around minding my own business when all of a sudden I bend over in pain and say "Its time!" and then that's it.. right? Or my water would break and then suddenly I'm huffing and puffing to the nearest car. Unfortunately labor and the eventual delivery is not that simple.

For me, labor begins about a week before I actually deliver. This is how its been with both my children and how it's seeming to go with Princess Surrobaby as well. This weekend I started having regular braxton hicks and went in and was 50% effaced and closed. (Meaning not dilated.) The following morning I went in again to have a test done to see if my waters were leaking and they were not but I was then 2cm dilated and 50% effaced. Overnight! My IPs were literally on their way from southern CA and IF planned on stopping by to visit with his friend and the woman who had been their family nanny at 5pm. When they got here I was so relieved. My contractions were every 5 mins and very painful. I had to close my eyes and go completely inward to focus on getting through the contraction. The room would get very quiet each time I had a contraction and Jason timed them on his iphone, showing IF the different aps that were available to download to time contractions etc.

IF's friend was so kind and complimented me several times on how controlled I seemed to be with my pain management. I tend to get very quiet when I'm in labor pain. It hurts too much to have the energy to scream. IF's friend is a professional photographer and asked me if i was on with him taking some pictures and  keeping a photo journal of the labor etc for my IPs. I was totally ok with that. :) I also happened to have had makeup on that day.. go me!! After about an hour of contractions every 5 mins we decided to go in to the hospital. IM and her parents were still on their flight from LA, and would land in SF any minute then meet us at the hospital. I went to an observation room and was hooked up to monitors and they informed me my contractions were now 2-3 mins apart. I kept thinking "This is it! I'm in labor!" soon my IM walked into the room. Princess surrobaby's heart rate accelerated and she began moving all over the place. We all laughed and IM put her hands on my tummy to feel her daughter moving and to feel my contractions. She was an OB and I saw her go between Dr, and excited mother. She looked at the chart with my contractions and felt my tummy and stood beside me with two sides to her. The Dr who was all too familiar with delivering babies, and the excited/nervous mommy. After a few hours my contractions unfortunately tapered off some and when I was checked I was still 2cm and 50% effaced so they let me go home. These past few days have been filled with mild to strong contractions that don't get worse or closer together but are enough to keep me awake at night and make me feel like I've been hit by a semi truck. My husband has been so kind to take these past two days off of work to help me here at home. He won't get paid for the days off, but it's worth it to have him help me here we feel.

I was so lucky to have my best friend Reshea visit me as well during this whole ordeal. She flew out from AZ and stayed with us for 5 days. She woke up with my kids in the morning so I could sleep some more, and helped with everything here at the house. It was honestly a life saver having her here. :)

I am now 37 weeks and 3 days. The exact day I delivered Emma on. We shall see how long I go from here. Could be any day though! Here is my sad face belly picture and one where Hunter decided to do a belly shot with me. ;)

P.s. Yes I know babies are supposed to stay in utero until 40 weeks.. yes I know its best for her to remain in me. Just don't tell me that right now while I've been in labor for 3 days k?

34 Weeks and Packing a Surrogates's Hospital Bag.

This past Saturday was my 34 week mark. I cannot believe how quickly everything is going now. Its so strange to look back at my day of transfer and think that today Princess Surrobaby is the size of a cantaloupe and roughly 5 lbs. (I hate those fruit comparisons for size, but if we're being honest here I feel more like a watermelon than a cantaloupe.) My last Dr's appointment my Dr checked me for dialation and I am still closed and good to go. My cervix is also really high, but thats normal for me. When I was pregnant with Emma the nurse had to call a Dr with longer fingers to check me, and then he grabbed my cervix by the opening and pulled it down and around Emma's head. THAT felt GREAT. ;) I feel like I wrote that already in a previous blog...and if I did...oh well. Pregnancy brain. Here is a picture of my belly that I took 2 days ago...

 

My lower back and hips are killing me, but besides that things are going pretty well! I'm a lot more tired, and walking slowly. I am really anxious for my IM and IF to be in country. They get to CA in less than a week and I will be SO relieved when they are at least within an hour's flight of here. Their family is coming with them but I am really hoping to spend some time with them so they can feel her kicking and maybe show them some of the sights around here like the Henry Cowell National Park that is just 45 mins away. They have HUGE redwood trees there and I know for a fact that there are no Redwood trees in Indonesia. :) I also found a restaurant that makes amazing Dutch/Indo food in SF so I may order a lot of Nasi Goreng and Krokettes or Gado Gado...I may make my own peanut sauce too. Hehe. I haven't even asked the IPs if they will have time for any of this.. I'm just thinking out loud.  They may have a lot to do to get ready still. We shall see!

So I bought new pieces for my breast pump today. I'm so happy that I get to pump for Princess Surrobaby! I was planning on pumping anyways but its even better that it gets to go to them! I packed it all and got it ready to bring to the hospital when I go into labor. I got to thinking the other day...what does a Surrogate pack and bring to the hospital when she doesn't have a baby to care for afterwards?

Here is the list I have compiled so far...

-Phone and ipad charger

-Shampoo/Conditioner

-Hairdryer and Straightener

-Makeup

-Comfy clothes

-Granny Panties (for using with large pads)

-Large Pads for heavy bleeding after birth.

-Breast Pump with bags and bottles

-Camera

-Snacks for in between hospital meals

-Book

-Fuzzy Socks

-Body Pillow and fuzzy blanket

-Maternity clothes to wear home.

-Gift for IM and Gift for IF.

-Goodie bags for nursing team

Any other ideas or suggestions let me know! :)

The 3D/4D Ultrasound

So today was the 3D/4D ultrasound that I scheduled as a gift to IM and IF. I had 3D ultrasounds with my own children and it always blew me away how accurate they were. We would compare their newborn photos with the 3D ones and be totally blown away... Here is Emma's picture next to her 3D one just to give you an idea of their accuracy...

                                  **Again...that photo is my daughter.. not the surrobaby...**

We got there and they were closed until 5pm, so we waited for the nurse to get back. Poor Emma cried through almost the entire ultrasound because she wanted me to hold her and I think she didn't understand why mommy was lying on a table with a slimy belly. But it made for some great pictures and video of Princess Surrobaby because she kept moving and wiggling with all the noise haha.

The nurse kept saying how chunky and cute Princess Surrobaby was and that she is most definitely a girl! Here are some of the pictures from the ultrasound. :)

 

So there she is!! Only like 8 weeks or so left. I am so excited for my IPs. They were very happy to get these photos today. Hehe. Next appointment is on July 15th, and I get my whooping cough vaccine. 

Low low low and a cervix check

Well I am 31 weeks tomorrow and in the past few days Princess Surrobaby has DROPPED into my pelvis. I dont think I have ever carried a baby this low before. You can even see where my abs on top are and then my tummy goes out. I mean...look at that! Weird right?

 

So I emailed my Dr. about it because it concerned me. I was also feeling a LOT of pressure in my cervix area and was worried she had dropped because she was planning on coming early. My Dr said to come in if I wanted but as long as I wasn't having contractions and or fluids leaking (aka my waters) then I should be ok.  I knew that my IPs would want to make sure everything was totally normal so I drove myself to Labor and Delivery at Kaiser San Leandro (Which is gorgeous by the way...) Reminder to self...park on the left of the building because I had quite a hike to the L&D area. Checked into Triage and they took me to an observation room. I got hooked up to some monitors and there was Princess Surrobaby as sassy as ever, kicking those monitors off my belly. The nurse had to readjust them several times because every time she would kick, they would slip down. Haha...sorry..IM is pretty fit and athletic..this baby is ACTIVE just like her mama. Princess Surrobaby had a great heartrate in the 150s and plenty of movement. I waited for them to check my cervix after they made sure I wasn't having any contractions. I told them I wasn't. I said it was only the normal Braxton Hicks...I mean...this isn't my first Rodeo if you get my drift. They wanted to check anyways. 

The Dr came in and used that metal tool that opens up the vaginal canal so she could get a clear view of my cervix. HOLY OW!!! It hurt so badly I saw stars. It hurt as badly as when I am checked during labor. Luckily my cervix was super high (although it always is even when I'm in active labor...the nurse has had to use her finger inserted into the dialated opening to hook it and pull it down around Emma and Hunter's head in the past. WHEW that hurt.) and my cervix was also thick. They measured it with a vaginal ultrasound and I measured at 3.5cm. She said they get concerned if its less than 2cm thick but mine looked great. I was relieved and let my IPs know. :) So now I need to invest in a back and belly brace to lift my belly a little. Gravity is just winning a little bit right now and making me uncomfortable. Princess Surrobaby is camped out in my pelvis which is where the pressure is coming from, but its not doing anything bad. She is just ready to grow in that head down position and I'm fine with it as long as she stays in there for a few more weeks. :)

This Tuesday July 1st I am getting a 3D ultrasound done for my IPs. :) I had them with my own babies and I just loved it so I thought they might like it too. So excited to send them pictures of their baby girl!!!!!

Holy Wiggly Surrobaby batman! 29 weeks (Video link in blog)

Well tomorrow I will officially be 29 weeks pregnant! I can't believe how fast the pregnancy is going. Little Miss Princess Surrobaby is so wiggly it's crazy! I dont think my hyperactive son was this wiggly in the womb. I know my daughter was more of a roller than a kickboxing queen, but this baby is going to be a little mover I just know it. I already warned her parents. ;)

I have my 29 week appointment today and from now until 36 weeks I have an appointment every 2 weeks instead of every 4. Then from 36 weeks on I am seen once a week. I also begin pre-registry for the hospital I will deliver at! I'm so excited for my IPs. I think it's really beginning to feel real for them. I know with my first baby, even though I had a nursery all set up, it didn't sink in until the moment I held my son for the first time. I literally sobbed. I was happy sobbing...but sobbing all the same.

Thats about it for now... oh here is a video I put on Youtube of the surrobaby kicking my tummy. Hehe. Its like a scene from the movie Alien.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCnEY_SQHTM

My scars...Her scars.

I'm not going to lie or sugar coat it. This pregnancy has been physically challenging. I am blessed that I do not have Gestational Diabetes or any other ailments so far, but it is still hard to be pregnant with two children under 4. Every night before bed I put a cream on my knee for joint pain I've been having, and hip pain, and I've been having hormonal headaches. All of this is physical discomfort that I am noticing is stronger than with my first two pregnancies. My belly is also bigger. I have some new stretch marks, and my scars from my first two pregnancies stretch out across my tummy like stripes.

 

I'm 27 weeks today and I know that this little girl is only going to get bigger. I was thinking today about how  physically challenging this pregnancy has been and how the sacrifices I am making physically will combine with all the physical sacrifices of my IM to bring this little girl into the world. My smooth tummy I have always had was painted permanently with these stripes and I in no way see that as a difficult sacrifice. Instead, it's a reminder to me, as I struggle to sleep or roll over, or walk, or get up from the ground, that the end result of all of these pains and all of these scars...is that beautiful baby. I thought about the physical scars my IM has....Egg retrieval is a surgery, as well as her emotional scars she carries on her heart from her previous losses while trying to bare her child herself.  People say to me all the time what a wonderful thing I am doing, or how I am giving such a gift, when really I see this as me joining IM's battle in the last moments, helping her to win. She has fought much harder, and much longer for this little girl than I have and will. I am only the reinforcements. This journey has been IM's and IF's for so long...and I am only a small role in their road to parenthood. My scars....her scars. We will bare them together to bring a perfect little girl into the world.

Fun Facts:

Cravings: Tart fruit ei: Nectarines, Plumbs, strawberries, blueberries etc.

Chicken strips dipped in nacho cheese...I have yet to fulfill this craving..

Chocolate.

Milk

Cereal

Roasted Beets

did I mention milk??

Aversions: Chicken that I cook myself. Seeing it raw just....ick,

Asperagus

 

Mother's Day...a reflection on "Motherhood."

I was driving to Choir practice yesterday, braking and crawling along with traffic and enjoying the freedom to let my mind wander as I didn't have a three year old in the car pointing out every bulldozer and airplane we passed, needing me to acknowledge every discovery his little mind found, and I knew I wanted to write a special post about Mother's Day and what it meant etc. but I wasn't exactly sure what I would write.

Mother's day has always been such a simple holiday to me growing up. I bought my mother a card, we went to breakfast at the American Diner on El Camino, and then finished up the day doing whatever she wanted. Sometimes it was attending the Stanford University Pow Wow (Which is what I want to do this year.) and sometimes it was hiking, or watching Disney movies together on the couch. Whatever it was that she wanted, we did it because that's what you do on Mother's day. Right? It wasn't until I became a mother, responsible every day for the life and then lives of my children, around the clock, 24/7, 365 days of the year that I grew to adore the idea of Mother's Day. Do I think its a holiday taken over by the Hallmark company to sell greeting cards? Maybe a little...but the idea at it's core is beautiful. Honor the woman who loved you, changed your poopie diapers, wiped your nose, nagged at you to clean up your room, breathed down your neck in high school about tests and grades, and who enforced curfew way longer than any other of your friend's parents. Honor her and love her one special day a year (or more if you like) because it's nice to do for the lady who got out of bed 30 times a night when you had a nose cold and couldn't sleep.

Thinking of all that, and how beautiful Mother's Day is, also let my heart and mind rest in the moment with all of the women who suffer from infertility, and who LONG to celebrate this "holiday" with their own families. I have a close friend who says even though she has children through other means than her bearing them, the holiday still stings and is a reminder of how much pain is involved with infertility. I am constantly brought back to thoughts of my IM. Especially on a day like this sunday when mothers will be honored for all that they do...and I am thrilled that this will be the last Mother's Day she spends without a child in her arms. Her daughter is here! On this earth with a beating heart...she is just preparing herself to unite with her mommy for the first time.

While on that drive to choir yesterday, a song came on the radio in the midst of my blog brainstorming and it caught me so off guard that I sat at the intersection of 237 and Mathilda bawling my eyes out. The song is a love song...but when you listen to it from the perspective of a mother singing to the daughter she has waited for....it really just gets you right in the "feels" as the internet would say.  Here is the song... A Thousand Years by Christina Perri

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtOvBOTyX00

Happy Mother's Day...to all the women who are mothers, long to be mothers, or who are happy as they are celebrating their own mothers. This is a beautiful celebration of womanhood and each other and all the sacrifices we make.

Explaining Surrogacy to Your Young Children

I have had women interested in becoming a surrogate, as well as friends ask me how I approach the topic of surrogacy to my two young children. My son is 3, and my daughter is 16 months old. When I was pregnant with my daughter, my son understood that there was a baby in my tummy, but only in a very surface way. He didn't understand that once the baby came out that his life would be different forever, or that it meant he would have a sister. That was only because he was so young.  Now that he is 3, and absorbing the world around him like a sponge I knew it was important for him to understand 2 very important things in regards to this pregnancy. The baby is not ours, and that I would never give him or his sister away.

I told him from the moment that I knew I was going into this surrogacy that a Doctor was going to put IM and IF's baby in my tummy and I was going to babysit their baby in my tummy until she was big enough to give back to her mommy and daddy. Expressing from the beginning that the baby was not mine to him gave him the base understanding that this was something different from his sisters birth. The babysitting was a reference I knew he could grasp, and that he knew babysitting was temporary. I have also told him several times how mommy and daddy are so happy to be able to help IM and IF become a mommy and daddy, and that we would never give him or his sister away. We are only giving their baby back after watching her for a while in my tummy. My son completely understands now, and doesnt think twice about it.

Almost every day my son hugs my belly and says "Hi IM and IF's baby!!" When their baby is born my wish is for my son to see IM and IF holding their baby so he can see the final picture. He can put together the pieces of the experience and see that they are finally a family. Even though he is "only 3" he understands a lot more than some people give 3 year olds credit for. I know seeing their family together and maybe giving the baby a little kiss will be just what he needs before moving on with the rest of us with our family life after a completed surrogacy.

My daughter points to my belly saying "Baby." and thinks I make a nice pillow, but other than that, I don't think she will notice that there is no baby in the house after I deliver. Not like her brother would.

Have any questions? Please feel free to post them or email them to me.

Its a.......

GIRL!!!

(Apparently some people were confused by the last image I had up because the hairbow I used was blue. Didn't mean to confuse, I just grabbed the nearest bow that I use for my daughter. Hope this is less confusing. Its definitely a girl!)

My ultrasound appointment was at 9am and I met IM and IF at the hospital. IF met me at the main door and greeted me with a big hug and we walked over to see IM. We hugged and I said hello to IM's Mother and Father and their friend who came with them before going to check in. The Ultrasound technician was running late but I didn't mind because it gave all of us a chance to chat and catch up a little. All the regular conversation subjects... How was your flight? Whats the weather like in Indonesia...Are you excited? All of that. IF joked about how the baby was sure to look like IM, and then the nurse came out to call us in. They had no problem allowing IM and IF into the ultrasound with me (which I was prepared to fight tooth and nail for.)  They did all of the usual checks for a 20 week ultrasound and said everything looked amazing. The heart had 4 beautiful chambers, good looking umbelical chord, extremities looked great and 100% sure its a girl!! IM was so happy to hear the baby was a girl. I agreed with her that girls have such a different closer relationship to their mommies than boys do, and since this will be their only child I knew they were so pleased to get ready for their little Princess.

After the ultrasound they drove with me to my house and were able to visit with my kids. Emma gave them a nice display of how dramatic she is, and kept asking to watch Frozen. Hunter grabbed the IP's friend who came with them by the hand and practically dragged him to his room to show him all his toys. I went back to rescue him after a while. ;) I gave my IPs a gift with little girl onesies and tiny slippers and they brought me delicious cookies from their layover in Tokyo, and the most amazing coffee!! I am so excited to make it sometime...but I want my brother to do it for me since I am sure I wouldn't brew it correctly with my cheapo coffee maker.

We had a nice time talking about what we planned for the delivery. I told them that I was comfortable with them both being in the room for my pushing and that they could follow their healthy baby and Jason would stay with me. I told them that their family was also welcome in the hospital room with them while we waited for push time. :) They are now on their way to LA and then to see some of the sights here in America while they are visiting! I will see them again in August when they will be out here until I deliver their baby. 

Thank you for all the prayers and love from everyone on this journey. Their baby is looking great! (and currently kicking.)

** I forgot to get a picture of all of us together!! Oh well...next time. :)**

16 weeks..changes changes!

I know its been a few weeks since I posted here. The truth is, this is the boring part. Its the pretty routine appointments and days in between where there just isn't much to talk about. I get the "Hows the baby doing?" comments from friends and all I can really say is "Great!" (I think...although I cant exactly radio in to the baby to check. Hello baby...come in baby...how are you doing? Over.) My belly is growing like rapidly all of a sudden. I have those stretching pains on the sides of my belly where my round ligaments are beginning to demonstrate their adjusting talent. I had about 3 airs of maternity jeans from my daughter's pregnancy that fit, and that was about it. I washed them every week and those were slowly showing their wear. My friend Erica sent me a whole box of really awesome maternity clothes that were truly a godsend. They are amazing quality and I can actually have a variety in my clothing again. She was very kind to help me out.

Tomorrow is my 16 week appointment even though technically I will be 16 weeks and 6 days. I will also have my second blood draw in the CA state medical screening. The Ultrasound I had gave me the all clear for signs of Downs Syndrome and Trisomy 18 though so that was a huge relief to my IPs. Tomorrow's appointment will not have an ultrasound, just a little doppler machine to listen to the baby's heartbeat, answer some questions if I have any, chit chat with my awesome OB and then leave. I am still on Zofran which has been a life saver (baby just kicked btw.) and I can actually eat again.

The baby is moving!! Well its been moving before but now I can feel those tiny little butterfly movements and slight bumps. Its pretty cute. Its like he/she is saying "Hey there landlord..let my mommy and daddy know I'm ok!"

So thats the update for now. My 20 week ultrasound and gender reveal will be on April 10th. I may not post on the actual day though because I am sure my IPs will want to tell family first. I cant wait to see them!! I want to give IM a huge hug since I haven't seen her since we first met, even though we text almost every day.  Thats all for now...here are some updated belly pics. 16 weeks!