Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Many hands.. A letter to my Surro-twins

My Darlings,

As you sit in my tummy right now, moving ever so gently, nudging and bumping my tummy, I am moved to write you both a letter. Something you can read when you're much older. I want the two of you to understand just how much you are loved. Your Daddies love you both so much, that they moved heaven and earth to get to you.. They spent countless hours talking and discussing how they could bring the two of you into their family, and then they met me. We talked and laughed, and spent time together and they asked me if I would carry the two of you in my tummy for them. I was so happy that your daddies chose me, and trusted me with such an important calling.



I remember after the Dr put the two of you in my belly, that he placed his large warm hands on my tummy and offered up a prayer, asking that the two of you decide to stay, and that God would bless you. It was a beautiful moment, and it's strange to say, but I knew that you both would. Even then I could tell that the two of you were going to stay with me for the 9 months until you were born.


So here we are, the both of you are growing so strong now, and moving around in my tummy like crazy. Sometimes you kick each other and I have to say "Hey! Calm down in there you two.."



Do you know how many people love you both right now? And you're not even born yet! Your Daddies love you both the most, for sure. They're your daddies! I can't wait to see them hold you both for the first time. I already know I will be moved to tears. They will have waited years for that special moment, and I am anxious to see them become fathers in an instant.


 Then there's me.. I love you. I love you because I love your Dads, and feel grateful to have been included in your story. I love you because you wiggle in my tummy, and because I get to see you both come healthy into this world. THAT is amazing. I'm not your mommy.. I wont be.. but I will always be the woman who God and your Fathers trusted to carry you. I will always love you because a piece of me is in you, and a piece of you both is forever in my heart.


Then there is my own family. They love you too! Jason, and Hunter and Emma! They all love you both as well. They've helped me to grow you, sang to you, talked to you in my tummy, and given you both countless kisses to be sure that you are raised in a loving and safe place! (If for some reason you have always felt a connection to the Marine Corps Hymn, I'm sorry...that would be Jason's fault. He sings it to you both in my tummy all the time. He did it to my last surro-babe as well. Hehe.)



What a beautiful thing to know that the two of you will be born with an entire family of people who love you both and want the best for you forever. Your dads are amazing, and they will raise the two of you in so much love and protection. I will always remember you both and the short time we spent together while you grew. Thank you for riding along with me, and for the many kicks and rolls in my tummy.




Love,

Corinne your Surro-mom.

Friday, May 6, 2016

Surrogates on Mother's Day

Every Mother's Day has been special to me since having children. My husband has always gone above and beyond to be sure that the day was relaxing and that I felt appreciated. People call it "The one holiday a year that mom's get." But even that isn't true. ;) We still work, and overtime.

So what do Surrogates think on Mother's Day after they've delivered their surrogate babies into the arms of their families? What do Surrogates think on Mother's Day when their surro-babies don't have a mommy but have two daddies?

For me, Mother's Day is mostly about my own children, and the journey that brought me to my own motherhood, but I would be lying if I said that my surro-babes didn't rest gently in my thoughts on this special day. I did carry them in my body for 9 months and deliver them. But it's slightly different. For my first set of IPs I mainly think about my IM on Mother's Day. How this year will be her second Mother's Day, and how she is always so proud when she updates me on Alaya. Mother's Day in that sense for me is about re-living the joy and fulfillment that I felt when I saw her become a mother for the first time. Her tears, her smile, her relief. Mother's day for that surro-family to me becomes a beautiful day of enjoying a treasured memory.

For this time around with my IF's, it's a little different. These babies will have two amazing daddies and will not have a mother. So Mother's Day with them on my heart feels slightly different. I won't be their mother (obviously), but I love them very much. I love them for the love and happiness they will bring their Dads, and Mother's Day will be a pleasant reminder that I was the one lucky enough to be chosen to carry them in my belly. It's incredibly special to be that vessel for them, and Mother's Day will be the reminder that their daddies needed a mama like me to help them meet their babies. Wow... what a blessing. What an honor and true gift that it got to be me!

Forever and for always I will hold dear the tiny little hearts that grew strong in my belly... My Hunter and Emma, Alaya and now these two little twins. Thank you God for making my body strong and my belly warm. Thank you for giving me a loving and supportive husband who guides me and holds me on my weak days when I feel sore and tired. For my babies who love these little guests with as much vigor as a normal sibling, but who understand and accept with grace that they are different. God is good.