Saturday, September 29, 2018

Lets Talk Lupron!


Ok so... I am officially in contract with IF and have started my Lupron with Dr. Smotrich. Most IVF Dr's use Lupron in their regimen to suppress the ovaries from ovulating since the embryo will be implanted by the physician and as a surrogate we don't want our eggs in the uterus.

Lupron is a medication injected directly into the stomach. I decided to make a little how-to video of how I inject my Lupron.

**All Dr's will have their own instructions and recommended dosages for medications. Please always consult with your physician when preparing your own injections. This video is informational only.**




Monday, September 3, 2018

A new match! Let the appointments begin!

I know it's been a while since my last surrogacy post. Here's the quick update..

I am now officially matched with someone I have known for 4 years! He is the godfather to my first surrogate baby! When I was pregnant with Alaya, he would come out with my IPs and visit. He's been to my home and even played with my children already. I remember back then he thought about surrogacy as an option for him to become a parent, I just never dreamed it might be me some day! He asked for me specifically since we already have trust built, and I said yes immediately.

I got the call when I was in Minnesota in June. "Corinne it's Anne from SAI, and I have someone who's requested you specifically..You actually already know him, it's [name redacted.]"

I was so excited I'm pretty sure my "YES!!" echoed through the Mall of America, since thats where we were...just outside Tim Hortons. (Mmmmmm.) So from here on out, my new IP will be referred to as baby daddy "IF" or "Intended Father." He's fantastic, and sweet, and funny, and loves animals and people fiercely. I am so excited to help him become a father. It will be totally different with this journey as there is no mother figure involved again. It will just be IF, and possibly his mother.


This week I have two very important doctor appointments. Tomorrow I have an appointment with the perinatologist to be medically cleared since the twins I had last time were early. Then on Thursday I fly to San Diego for the day to be cleared at the IVF clinic. Once those appointments give me the all clear we can begin contracts, then medications. YAY!!!

I am also happy to share the my previous IM (who lost the baby) and I will be meeting up soon to go out for wine together! We miss each other as we became dear friends through our last journey together.

Everything is exciting and gearing up for another miracle baby.

Saturday, April 21, 2018

Surrogacy and Traditional Lakota Views on being "W'akú Wičoni." Gives Life.



I have been asked before, both in person and in interview about how I navigate surrogacy and my traditional culture as an Oglala Lakota woman. I am Khanawake Mohawk and Oglala Lakota but I will be speaking today on sacred femininity and surrogacy as a straight Cis-gender Lakota woman. We also believe in the two spirit community, which I have carried a baby for two gay men as well, but today I will be speaking on the subject of surrogacy and infertility.

In Lakota tradition, men are the protectors, and women are the sacred life givers. Now some of you may bristle at the notion of hearing men called Protectors because you tie the idea of a protector to the colonial root idea of a protector being defensive because of ownership. In Lakota culture, the Men are protectors because our women are sacred, not because they are owned by anyone. We as women have been chosen by Creator to usher in souls from the spirit world. This is a task that has only been entrusted to women. Our physical bodies become literal portals where Creator plants the soul and we nourish that tiny body and soul into existence. Paula Hornem, wife of Chief Arvol Looking Horse once told me that the soul resides in the belly. Life begins in the belly, and so our souls reside there. That is why when we are nervous, or excited or feel sadness, that feeling starts in our bellies. Our bellies are the beginnings of many things, traditionally the time a woman begins her moon or her period is a time celebrate! It is an ushering in of responsibility that is both holy and unmatched. Women are cleansed every month in ceremony through the ritual bleeding of her menstruation, where as our men need sweat ceremonies to cleanse. So yes.. our men are protectors to our women, because they honor us and the very sacred job we have.

But how does this traditional view apply to being a surrogate?

When I felt called to be a surrogate, I was very much aware of the fact that this would be a spiritual calling for me. From the very beginning I knew that my Creator was deeply rooted in the draw I felt to help couples. I want to address another notion I feel is sensitive in this discussion, infertility. Hearing that the ability to carry a child or create life is "sacred" might be hurtful to women who learn that they cannot carry a child, or create life within their wombs, but to this I would like to raise an idea... I believe that women who CANNOT carry life within their wombs are just as much givers of life as their sisters who give physical birth..and here's why. When I act as a physical surrogate for a women who cannot carry a child, I am surrendering my physical body to her. SHE IS USHERING IN THE SPIRIT. Let me repeat that.... SHE is ushering in the spirit of her child. The gate way that spirit child walks was still made by her. It was made in her prayers. In her belly and heart. It was made in the physical DNA that she placed in my womb. In many ways I view her work as twice as hard as mine. Her spiritual exhaustion is fully encompassing. She is working to bring that soul earth-side with every nervous pace, and phone call. Every prayer and tear. That is her labor. That is her life giving. I am just the physical womb that I have given to her for the task. How sacred, how beautiful is that bond to think of all the women on this earth as sisters and life givers. This also applies to adoption! In most (not all) tribes in the US, adoption to children outside the tribe is fully embraced, and those children are considered members of that tribe! You mothers who have adopted are givers of life in this same way. You are sacred and you have labored into your motherhood.

So yes, I am W'akú Wičoní. Gives life. Surrogacy is the physical and sacred act of ushering life into this world through love and sacrifice. It is using my sacred ability for good. It is new in comparison to life giving throughout history, but Creator is the leader in finding new ways to do ancient and amazing things.

Saturday, February 17, 2018

When the wound became too great..

Last week, my Intended Parents decided that the hurt from yet another loss was too great for them to attempt another try at surrogacy. They called me, and I walked outside to me van (to get some privacy from my loud kids) and I let them speak. I was meant to listen, and to let them work through some tough emotions.

I cannot imagine what it feels like to come so close to a happy ending, only to lose it again. I guess I have sort of an understanding, but really, their pain in this started years before I came into the picture.  I may have suffered the physical aspects of the loss, but they were dealt another blow that was in addition to all the other losses and dashed hopes that brought them to me in the first place.

I told my IPs that I was here for them as long as they needed. My IM and I grew close, so we both promised to go out for a glass of wine together sometime, and that they fully supported me in being matched again with someone else. Part of me fears that seeing me pregnant for someone else will add to their pain as well, so I am letting the decision to reach out be theirs. I don't want them to hurt anymore.

As a healer, someone who's soul thrives on bringing life to others, this decision left me with very 3 dimensional emotions. I felt guilty that I couldnt bring them their happy ending, but also connected with creator in knowing that not all healing is meant to come through answered prayer. Perhaps it is His will that their healing comes from finding hope in each other, and that I cannot be a part of that story.

At the BAAITS powwow of San Francisco, I jingle dress danced with their names in my medicine bag. I wrote it with a shaky hand and folded the piece of paper up and tucked it close to my heart as the drums began beating in the open halls of Fort Mason. I danced in the circle, and closed my eyes, sending up their names and thanking Creator for letting me be a part of their life's journey.



Now I await Creator to send me to another loving couple, so that I can be the warm and loving space for their baby to grow. Again I am in the excitement, looking forward to that number on my phone I know to be my friend Ann, calling me with a couple she knows I can help. The best feeling in the world. W'aku wiconi...Gives others life. I am ready Creator.