Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Shipping breastmilk can sometimes get awkward...

I've been posting my awkward shipping experiences on Facebook and someone suggested I put them all down in one place. So here they all are! In sequence, and over the course of a month. ;) Enjoy!

At UPS dropping off the first shipment of frozen milk for the babies, there's an 18 year old kid at the cashier. He takes my package, weighs it, and starts writing up the info for shipping.
Kid: ..and contents?
Me: Breastmilk.
Kid (shocked): So..uh..ok. *blushing*
Me: *enjoying watching This poor kid turn beet red and fill in the info about this breastmilk shipment.* So is my info saved now for further shipments?
Kid: Of more breastmilk?
Me: Yyyyyyyyyup. *smiling*
Kid: Ya it should be saved...I hope. *blushes harder*
Hahahaha awwwwwwkward.

Awkward breastmilk shipment story part 2...
Imagine..if you will..a packed UPS. Joe the construction worker is picking up packages, Asian lady in a visor needs to buy tape, and an elderly couple is arguing over who needs to sign for a notarized DNR paper. 18 year old kid is working again, but luckily he is busy with Joe the construction worker, so (we'll call her Philipino Auntie), Philipino Auntie takes my box of frozen milk...
PA: Whats in the box?
Me: Breastmilk.
*18 year old kid is smiling at the cash register..Joe the construction worker looks over and quickly away.*
PA: Oh..ok..you need box?
Me: Yes please.
*PA goes to get a box so Persian Owner with a bad hair piece takes my info while she packs the ice chest..*
Persian Owner: Ok..contents of the box?
*every time I say breast milk, PA pulls tape and Persian owner can't hear me and asks again..*
Me: *shouting expecting tape noise...but there is silence* BREASTMILK!
Persian Owner: Oh..ok. Breastmilk.
*18 year old walks by with a box smiling again*
Did you know your shins could sweat?? I didn't know you could sweat from your shins... I swear you can't make this shit up. I think I need a beer.

Awkward breastmilk shipment story..part 3.
I walk in, already sweating, and Philipino Auntie and 18 year old kid are both on their cell phones, Persian owner with the bad hair piece is speaking in Farsi on the phone presumably to his mother since the only word in Farsi I could understand was Mum. He winks at me..(yes please let's make this even more awkward shall we?)
18 year old kid puts his cell phone down to assist me. Great. He starts taking my info again when I hear (let's call him "Student from Ellis") Student from Ellis walks in behind me..
SFE: Hi Mrs Oestreich!!!!!!
Me: 
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😳 (this can't be real life.)
*turning around with a smile*
Me: Well hi there!! You're out with your mom, how fun! *turning back around I give 18 year old kid a look that can only be described as "If you ask me what the fucking contents are, I will reply with 'your intestines'." And luckily he gets the hint and never asks...
Ladies and Gentleman I believe we have reached an understanding....finally. So I finish my shipment and walk sweaty shinned to the car, grateful that I didn't have to say/scream "breastmilk!" In front of one of my students...

Awkward breastmilk shipment story part 4...
Well it was bound to happen, but today I had to bring my kids with me for a milk drop off. I carried the box in and told the kids to stand near me while Philipino Auntie helped me with my shipment. 18 year old kid was no where to be found..luckily, and Philipino Auntie who was obviously DONE with the fact that it was a Friday afternoon began to ring up my shipment.
PA: Contents?
Me: (Thinking to myself "really?...we're gunna do this?) Breast milk.
PA: Fresh silk?
Me: Breast Milk!
Emma begins dancing and spinning around the store singing "Breast milk!! Breast milk!! Breast milk!!" At the top of her lungs, at which time the 18 year old kid walks in from break. He has a smile on his face as he avoids eye contact with me on his way to the back of the store.
Me: Sigh.
PA: Anything else Ma'am?
Me: (Thinking to myself..a Xanax?)
Hunter then begins spanking me as we walk out he door singing "What chu gunna do with that big fat butt?! Wiggle wiggle wiggle."
😑🍼. the things I do for these twins... Lol

Awkward Breastmilk shipment story Part 5...
We walk into UPS, 18 year old kid is working along with Philipino Auntie. PA is busy taping someone's artwork to ship, so 18 year old kid smiles awkwardly as I walk up with my ice chest.
Me: Hi.
18 year old Kid: Hey. Phone number?
I give him my number and he begins taking all the measurements and weight for shipping. PA finishes her packing and comes to help with my shipment. She tapes up the box loudly as I attempt to give my info again to the 18 year old kid..
18 year old kid: So... Same contents as usual?
Me: *hallelujah chorus starts playing in my head* Yes.
PA: BREASTMILK. (She shouts this loudly, proud of herself for remembering what I have been shipping for weeks now...people in line are now staring at us.)
18 year old kid and I both turn exasperated at PA. Seriously?
18 year old kid: I think I'm going to give you the box for free....no charge. (Smile)
Me: Thanks.
Hahahaha

Awkward breastmilk shipment story part 6....
Philipino Auntie and 18 year old kid are working. They've opened the store computer to play Mozart's cello concerto in A on YouTube and its playing loudly. There is no one in the store except myself and my kids. Luckily. PA is on the phone with someone named Amanda who needs to ship something in an oversized box, so 18 year old kid helps me out again.
We've comfortably accepted that avoiding eye contact is really probably the best way to make this multi-weekly transaction less awkward.
We go through the whole process.. Measurement, phone number, same contents miss? Sign here.. Slide card.. And I can hear the music building... The Mozart in the back ground is crescendoing and my anxiety is subconsciously building. As if on cue, the music peaks, 18 year old kid hands me my receipt, and just as I believe I will finally escape here free of awkwardness, Philipino Auntie hangs up the phone and turns around to see me saying "Hey!! Breastmilk!!"

😑 Apparently I am not the only one who has assigned nick names. Lol

Thursday, July 14, 2016

The Birth Story: Sometimes NOTHING goes as planned..

On Tuesday July 5th, I noticed that my contractions were coming pretty regularly since about 4am. They weren't super painful, but they were enough that by about 5pm I arranged for my kids to go to my mom's house, and to go into Labor and Delivery to be checked. I was 2cm the last time they checked me a week prior, so when the Dr said I was 4cm I knew something was going on. From the moment I walked through the doors of the Hospital my contractions started getting super painful very quickly. I remember thinking "Thank God we're already here!" The Dr decided to wait an hour and monitor me, then come check me again to see if I had made any progress. Meanwhile my IFs were still with family in Jackson Hole WY from celebrating the 4th of July. We called them and told them what was going on, and they anxiously awaited that hour until we found out of things were progressing or not.

After an hour of breathing through some very painful contractions, I was checked at a 5cm dilation. This was labor. I was admitted, and given a steroid to help with the babies lungs, and again placed on magnesium to give the shots 48 hours to work.



It was pretty awful, I didn't want to get any epidural yet because we were trying to put off the labor, and the magnesium again made me hot, and dizzy, and nauseated. By Wed morning 3am I was on an epidural so that I could get some rest. They performed an ultrasound and both babies were over 4lbs, A was head down and B was transverse with potential to turn vertex. The magnesium slowed my labor down when I had reached 6 cm. At that point they were not going to let me go home because of the risk that my labor could quickly progress and my waters could break when I was away from the hospital. My epidural was removed and I was moved to Anti-Partum. I was still unable to eat or drink while on magnesium and was so starving that I ended up throwing up the first thing I tried to eat after magnesium was removed. Luckily I was able to hold down a bowl of oatmeal. From Wed to Saturday I had continuous contractions. It was every hour, to every 10 minutes, and very painful. I was huge, and uncomfortable, but the most amazing feeling was that my IFs were by my side after a last minute flight from Jackson Hole to SF. They held my hand, and sat by my side for hours and hours at a time. They were so supportive. My husband had support in them as well, they all went to dinner and lunches together and with our kids too. It was truly a family affair.





On Saturday my contractions started picking up again. My nurse kept coming in to adjust my monitors and would see exactly how painful these contractions were and coming on about every 6-7 minutes. Jason was with me and we were watching Agents of Shield, pausing so that I could breathe. My nurse came back in and said my Dr was coming to check me.. I was a 7.5!! Once the decision was made to move me to L&D, they moved fast. A minute later there was a gurney by my bed for me, nurses were packing all of my stuff, and Jason was following close behind as they wheeled me to my delivery room (even though I would be delivering in the OR.) I met my nurse in L&D and we started talking about what to expect, when I would like my epidural etc. I requested the epidural soon as I knew they needed it in in case of an emergency C-Section.




The epidural helped so much and I remember being so incredibly tired, that when the anesthesiologist came in to explain the epidural process while in labor, my eyes were literally closing and I was dreaming in those fraction seconds. I don't think I have ever been so tired. When they left, I rolled to my side and slept. We all did. My IFs fell asleep on the couch, and Jason (bless him) stayed awake in his chair watching me sleep, looking for any sign of discomfort or my water breaking so he could get the nurse. He finally fell asleep at one point, and I was awake because my contractions were now coming every 2 mins and strong enough that I could feel them break through my epidural. They came in to give me some more medicine and checked me. 9cm! They wanted to wait a little longer and left me to rest some more. About an hour later I knew I was ready to push. My water never broke, but I had that incredible urge to push. They checked me, I was a 10 and ready to go! My IFs kissed me goodbye and waited outside double doors while I was pushed into the OR. Baby A was still pretty high up, but I was a 10 so my Dr asked me to give a practice push. "Whoa! Thats good ok stop!" Hahaha every time. My Drs always say, "oh but he's so high up still you have a while..." Nope. I know my body. I'm so happy my Drs listened to me, Stanford had a few other Drs talking to me trying to convince me to just do a c-section since baby B was larger and transverse, but I knew she would come down. I insisted on attempting vaginal. I'm so glad I did because Baby Boy A came out in 1 1/2 pushes and 1 minute, and Baby Girl B came out 3 minutes later and head first just like I knew she would.  The whole thing took 5 minutes total! While pushing out baby girl, the Dr broke my water... poor timing on her part because just like a water balloon ruptures, my waters broke and all over her. I apologized and all the nurses laughed and my Dr started cracking up. "Rookie mistake!" she told me later. It was so funny. I really wished I could have seen my IF's faces when they met their babies for the first time, but I understood after labor started that it would have been way too crowded in that delivery room. There were 20 Drs and nurses, not including Jason and myself and the two other little ones I brought into the room.

Ethan was born at 12:42pm at 4lbs 6oz on July 10th
Violet was born at 12:46pm at 5lbs 7oz on July 10th

 Ethan is still in the NICU but he is getting better and better every day. :)Violet graduated today from the NICU to the intermediate Nursery! She has tried some nursing twice with me, and hasnt been on the breathing machine for a while. YAY!  I am now home and resting and recovering with my family, and blessed that I get to see my IFs every day when I bring milk by the hospital. It was the most beautiful thing seeing them now as a family. Made every single hard moment worth it. Every pain, every discomfort, every time I wanted to cry and give up, because this pregnancy was difficult, totally worth it when I saw those beautiful babies in the arms of their daddies. I am so incredibly blessed that I have the family that I have. My village rallied around me in 100% total support, watching my kids, feeding my husband and family, and cleaning our home and doing laundry. Wow. We were called and visited, loved and enfolded in arms of strength. I never asked my family to sign up for this surrogacy with me, I expected to do this and shoulder the burdens as they came, so to have them step into action for myself and for my family as well as my IFs... Just amazing. So grateful.

Ethan

Violet


I truly gained family in my IFs. I am so happy for them, and it brings me such joy to see them as a family. This is their beginning. I will always be grateful that they trusted me to carry their little cuties. I will always love those two little munchkins, and their incredible fathers.










This was my last surrogacy.. I am now retired as a surrogate and I feel completely and totally happy.


Please view the video my husband took of my delivery below. He started filming after they got my legs up in the stirrups. Beware of the water balloon explosion of amniotic fluid haha... its not gory or anything.. just funny.




Saturday, June 18, 2016

Premature Labor at 27 weeks

On June 2nd, I walked through my house having some particularly strong Braxton Hicks contractions. Every once and a while I would have to stop talking and focus on breathing through them. "Hmmm this isnt good." I thought to myself. So I filled up my water jug with ice and water and plopped myself on the couch laying on my side. I stayed that way for a good 2 hours, before i had to admit to my husband Jason that these felt like the real deal, and we need to go in.

I called my aunt to come watch the kids who were already settled into bed, and braced myself against the door frame while I breathed through a contraction. At that point I was still telling myself that we would get checked out at the hospital, and I'd get a shot to calm the Braxton hicks and then probably be home around 4 in the morning. But I was wrong...



We got to the hospital and checked in with Labor and Delivery where they showed me to a room. My cervix was checked, and I was at 2cm dilated. The Dr. explained that women who have had multiple births can sometimes just be 2cm dilated normally, without being in labor. So we were going to wait another hour and check me again to see if I was dilated further. I was hooked up to monitors, and Jason and I sat in the temporary L&D room watching infomercials on the TV while I started to stress. After an hour, the Dr came back in and checked me. I had gone from 2cm dilated to 3cm dilated. "This isn't good." my Dr said. She started me on magnesium sulfate to slow my contractions, and gave me a steroid injection to help the babies's lungs to develop in case we needed to deliver them. I started to cry. "This is my fault, why isn't my body working properly for these babies...IF1 and IF2 trust me to keep them safe and I feel like I'm failing!" Both Jason and the Dr were extremely understanding and supportive and kind to me while I struggled with that guilt and fear. They reassured me that sometimes women with multiples just have early labor and then with some magnesium it's successfully stopped! I prayed desperately that I was one of those women whose labor could be stopped. I was admitted to the hospital, and for 2 days I remained on the magnesium drip. They also gave me anti-biotics, which my body did NOT like. My head and neck got fire red and itchy and my lips tingled and itched. The magnesium was really hard on my body as well. I was dizzy, had a headache, and woozy. I wasn't allowed to drink anything for risk of my lungs filling with fluid. So I could only have one ounce per hour, and a tiny bit of ice chips. I had dreams of being trapped in house fires, and of floating glasses of ice water. I kid you not.

After 48 hours on magnesium, I was allowed to come off the drip at 2am. My nurse woke me to give me the good news and promptly handed me a  huge jug of ice water. Haha bless that woman...

The Dr's responsible for my care wanted me to wait another 48 hours in the hospital to be sure that my contractions were truly gone. Luckily they were and my dilation had even closed up a bit. Thank God. My IFs were in Finland on vacation when all of this started..after speaking with my Dr and the NICU Dr on speaker phone when I was being admitted, they decided to come home. They hopped the soonest flight they could get, and were home by Saturday. The literally drove from the airport, to their house to drop stuff off and then came to be with me. I can't even explain how many emotions went through me...guilt was a big one that's for sure. I felt awful that their trip was cut short, love for these soon to be dad's was another big emotion I felt. I already knew they were ready to be parents, but their sacrifice and willingness to drop everything because their babies needed them left no doubt in my heart or mind that these guys would make amazing Dads. They stayed with me that first night until I was ready to sleep, and came back the next evening as well. Jason (bless his amazing heart) brought my babies to visit me every day. Seeing them really helped. Jason took on a lot while I was in the hospital, and on top of everything he STILL managed to get a 100% on his math test he took that Tuesday after I came home. I am so incredibly proud of him. He is truly amazing and I know exactly how lucky I am.



On June 6th I was released from the hospital. No bed rest, just told to take it easy. I will be 30 weeks this June 20th! I'm so happy everything is looking great so far. I have been back for another ultrasound where they told us that Baby A (Boy) is 2lbs 11oz and Baby B (Girl) is 3lbs 5 oz. These are great weights! So now I am just trying to do all I can to relax and keep these little ones baking as long as I possibly can. I take each day one at a time, rest, and get help from family and friends as needed.

Thats the update for now! :)

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Many hands.. A letter to my Surro-twins

My Darlings,

As you sit in my tummy right now, moving ever so gently, nudging and bumping my tummy, I am moved to write you both a letter. Something you can read when you're much older. I want the two of you to understand just how much you are loved. Your Daddies love you both so much, that they moved heaven and earth to get to you.. They spent countless hours talking and discussing how they could bring the two of you into their family, and then they met me. We talked and laughed, and spent time together and they asked me if I would carry the two of you in my tummy for them. I was so happy that your daddies chose me, and trusted me with such an important calling.



I remember after the Dr put the two of you in my belly, that he placed his large warm hands on my tummy and offered up a prayer, asking that the two of you decide to stay, and that God would bless you. It was a beautiful moment, and it's strange to say, but I knew that you both would. Even then I could tell that the two of you were going to stay with me for the 9 months until you were born.


So here we are, the both of you are growing so strong now, and moving around in my tummy like crazy. Sometimes you kick each other and I have to say "Hey! Calm down in there you two.."



Do you know how many people love you both right now? And you're not even born yet! Your Daddies love you both the most, for sure. They're your daddies! I can't wait to see them hold you both for the first time. I already know I will be moved to tears. They will have waited years for that special moment, and I am anxious to see them become fathers in an instant.


 Then there's me.. I love you. I love you because I love your Dads, and feel grateful to have been included in your story. I love you because you wiggle in my tummy, and because I get to see you both come healthy into this world. THAT is amazing. I'm not your mommy.. I wont be.. but I will always be the woman who God and your Fathers trusted to carry you. I will always love you because a piece of me is in you, and a piece of you both is forever in my heart.


Then there is my own family. They love you too! Jason, and Hunter and Emma! They all love you both as well. They've helped me to grow you, sang to you, talked to you in my tummy, and given you both countless kisses to be sure that you are raised in a loving and safe place! (If for some reason you have always felt a connection to the Marine Corps Hymn, I'm sorry...that would be Jason's fault. He sings it to you both in my tummy all the time. He did it to my last surro-babe as well. Hehe.)



What a beautiful thing to know that the two of you will be born with an entire family of people who love you both and want the best for you forever. Your dads are amazing, and they will raise the two of you in so much love and protection. I will always remember you both and the short time we spent together while you grew. Thank you for riding along with me, and for the many kicks and rolls in my tummy.




Love,

Corinne your Surro-mom.

Friday, May 6, 2016

Surrogates on Mother's Day

Every Mother's Day has been special to me since having children. My husband has always gone above and beyond to be sure that the day was relaxing and that I felt appreciated. People call it "The one holiday a year that mom's get." But even that isn't true. ;) We still work, and overtime.

So what do Surrogates think on Mother's Day after they've delivered their surrogate babies into the arms of their families? What do Surrogates think on Mother's Day when their surro-babies don't have a mommy but have two daddies?

For me, Mother's Day is mostly about my own children, and the journey that brought me to my own motherhood, but I would be lying if I said that my surro-babes didn't rest gently in my thoughts on this special day. I did carry them in my body for 9 months and deliver them. But it's slightly different. For my first set of IPs I mainly think about my IM on Mother's Day. How this year will be her second Mother's Day, and how she is always so proud when she updates me on Alaya. Mother's Day in that sense for me is about re-living the joy and fulfillment that I felt when I saw her become a mother for the first time. Her tears, her smile, her relief. Mother's day for that surro-family to me becomes a beautiful day of enjoying a treasured memory.

For this time around with my IF's, it's a little different. These babies will have two amazing daddies and will not have a mother. So Mother's Day with them on my heart feels slightly different. I won't be their mother (obviously), but I love them very much. I love them for the love and happiness they will bring their Dads, and Mother's Day will be a pleasant reminder that I was the one lucky enough to be chosen to carry them in my belly. It's incredibly special to be that vessel for them, and Mother's Day will be the reminder that their daddies needed a mama like me to help them meet their babies. Wow... what a blessing. What an honor and true gift that it got to be me!

Forever and for always I will hold dear the tiny little hearts that grew strong in my belly... My Hunter and Emma, Alaya and now these two little twins. Thank you God for making my body strong and my belly warm. Thank you for giving me a loving and supportive husband who guides me and holds me on my weak days when I feel sore and tired. For my babies who love these little guests with as much vigor as a normal sibling, but who understand and accept with grace that they are different. God is good.



Friday, April 22, 2016

20 week Ultrasound!!

On the 15th I had my 20 week ultrasound. I was 20 weeks and 5 days at the time. Both babies passed with flying colors and are each 1 pound!! Wowza!! I have a feeling these will be some good sized babies. The whole ultrasound took 2 hours, which was new. One hour per baby. My IFs were both able to come and see the ultrasound which was super special. They saw the details of their babies and even the cute little faces! My tummy was so goopy by the end of the ultrasound, I told the nurse I probably wouldn't need to moisturize all week now. ;) I have a Fetal Echo cardiogram next week that is recommended for IVF babies even though the twins look fine. Thats another two hours, but I'm sure it will be reassuring to hear that the babies are totally fine afterwards. Then I have another regular OB appointment at 3 weeks past my last one, and then I'm seen every 2 weeks. Crazy! I feel like all these appointments are going to make time really fly. I can't wait until they're born.

I'm wanting to have a vaginal delivery for these twins, but I still need to deliver in the OR. They need to be prepared in case anything goes wrong then I can be prepped for a C-section quickly. I cannot stress enough how terrified I am of having a C-section. It's just not something I want, so please pray these babies are both head down by D Day and everything goes smoothly!

Our Exploratorium Trip in SF

On March 12th my amazing IF's invited us out to SF for the day where we spent a few hours together at the Exploratorium! We were planning on going to the zoo, but it was raining really hard all day so we switched to a fun indoor activity. Jason, Hunter, Emma and I all bundled up for the cold SF rain and parked on the pier jumping in puddles all the way to the exploratorium.

We were all so happy to see each other in the lobby, hugs all around. First thing I did was have both daddies put their hands on my tummy so they could feel their babies. The babies weren't moving, but if you pushed a little you could feel the lumps of their tiny bodies in my tummy. That was cool for them! Then we walked around playing and learning at all the different centers. It was fun for me to watch my IFs interact and play with my kids. Hunter and Emma loved the exhibits with steam, and the ones they could run in and get really hands on. We had a ton of fun together!