Saturday, May 31, 2014

My scars...Her scars.

I'm not going to lie or sugar coat it. This pregnancy has been physically challenging. I am blessed that I do not have Gestational Diabetes or any other ailments so far, but it is still hard to be pregnant with two children under 4. Every night before bed I put a cream on my knee for joint pain I've been having, and hip pain, and I've been having hormonal headaches. All of this is physical discomfort that I am noticing is stronger than with my first two pregnancies. My belly is also bigger. I have some new stretch marks, and my scars from my first two pregnancies stretch out across my tummy like stripes.
I'm 27 weeks today and I know that this little girl is only going to get bigger. I was thinking today about how  physically challenging this pregnancy has been and how the sacrifices I am making physically will combine with all the physical sacrifices of my IM to bring this little girl into the world. My smooth tummy I have always had was painted permanently with these stripes and I in no way see that as a difficult sacrifice. Instead, it's a reminder to me, as I struggle to sleep or roll over, or walk, or get up from the ground, that the end result of all of these pains and all of these that beautiful baby. I thought about the physical scars my IM has....Egg retrieval is a surgery, as well as her emotional scars she carries on her heart from her previous losses while trying to bare her child herself.  People say to me all the time what a wonderful thing I am doing, or how I am giving such a gift, when really I see this as me joining IM's battle in the last moments, helping her to win. She has fought much harder, and much longer for this little girl than I have and will. I am only the reinforcements. This journey has been IM's and IF's for so long...and I am only a small role in their road to parenthood. My scars....her scars. We will bare them together to bring a perfect little girl into the world.

Fun Facts:

Cravings: Tart fruit ei: Nectarines, Plumbs, strawberries, blueberries etc.
Chicken strips dipped in nacho cheese...I have yet to fulfill this craving..
Roasted Beets
did I mention milk??

Aversions: Chicken that I cook myself. Seeing it raw just....ick,


  1. The way that you talk about IM and IF is so nice and heartwarming! It's such a great thing you guys are doing with each other and it's obvious your relationship with them will be everlasting!

  2. I love this post! Well said! I can't wait to see her and see family pictures with her mommy and daddy. Do they have a name?