Last Wednesday I had my daughter Emma in her high chair ready to eat breakfast. Hunter was dancing around me asking for another glass of milk "Yes Hunter as soon as I feed Emma ok?" Emma had been sick for the past few days with a bad cold and Jason and I were up frequently with her at night. I started to feed Emma when I had that dreaded feeling every pregnant woman has a heart attack over... Warm discharge. Too warm. This felt like blood. I closed my eyes and said "Please God no..please no..." and I looked and sure enough I was bleeding. It was actually more than just spotting. I told myself to calm down, to focus, and I called my Dr. They asked me to come in for an Ultrasound and to check the bleeding. My friend Margie came over to watch my kids (she is another saint.) And I got in my car to drive to San Ramon.
I am going to take a short detour here and explain a moment that happened to me while I was getting blood taken to check my HCG numbers weeks ago... A moment where God stepped in and showed me, in a slap you in the face kind of way...that He was with me and all was in His hands. My numbers were slow to rise, and this was concerning at the time to my nurse. She asked me to come back in a third time for another blood draw. I got down on my knees the morning of the draw and prayed in full body asking God for comfort and for his will to match mine, and my IPs. I had the blood taken and got in my car to drive home. I began to pray again (I talk to God frequently), and mid-prayer, while stopped at a red light, I looked to my right and saw a plain white bus with IM's company logo on it... no other markings on the entire bus...just the one logo I know to be tied to her, and her life. I wont go into detail obviously of what the logo is, but just know that it would be EXTREMELY rare to see it, on a plain bus.. sitting right beside me..in a moment when I was praying about her and her baby. I sat with my mouth open, and goosebumps ran across my arm. I started to laugh because moments where God pops in to say "I'm here..I hear you." and for them to be so obvious are rare. I treasured that moment of comfort. That night I found out my number trippled.
On the way to my Ultrasound after bleeding I kept thinking about that moment at the stoplight when I saw the bus. "Why would God show me something so obvious if this wasn't going to work out?" I thought to myself. The ultrasound showed me a tiny beating heart at 113 bmp (beats per minute). I breathed a sigh of relief, but the Dr saw some blood above the sack inside my uterus. I would need to be on rest for a few days. Margie stayed the rest of the day with my kids (bless her heart) and then my husband took off of work the next day to help me. I went in again today (Monday) and the baby is even bigger, and the heart rate was now 145!! Yay!! The dr said the bleeding might have been from blood vessels inside the uterus, but she doesnt see it being a problem anymore as the baby will likely grow into the remaining blood and absorb it into the wall. I felt so much better and still have some help coming about 3 times a week with the kids. I will be able to rest, and nap. IM has been such a blessing and so involved with helping me, she sent me groceries to my house the other day! I almost cried.. it was so generous and thoughtful of her. I have my last ultrasound and meeting with Dr Weckstein on the 20th and then I will be released to my own dr at Kaiser. Still need to pick one. I have a NP (nurse practitioner) right now, but I want an actual OB. I have received some wonderful recommendations from my mommy friends on a Facebook Mom board. They have all been very helpful advice.