Monday, November 25, 2013

Estradiol...its a love/hate kinda thing.

So I have been on Estradiol for about 8 days now, and man has it been a ride. I take Estradiol via oral pill 3 times daily. I had a feeling I would get some of the symptoms, but I had no idea how much I would be affected by it.

Highly Emotional: I cry at the weirdest things. The other day I cried while watching The Brave Little Toaster...uhhh hello..weirdest movie ever and there I was sobbing. Then I had a full on ugly cry break down at Choir practice last Thursday when we sang this song... Just read it and listen to the video below and TRY not to bawl...

 "The hands that first held Mary's child,Were hard from working wood. From boards they sawed and nailed and filed And splinters they withstood .
This day they gripped no tool of steel. They drove no iron nail, But cradled from the head to heel
Our Lord, newborn and frail. When Joseph marvelled at the size of that small breathing frame, And gazed upon those bright new eyes and spoke the infant's name.
The angel's voice he once had dreamed poured out from heaven's height, And like the host of stars that gleamed Blessed earth with welcome light.
This Child will be Emmanuel, Not God upon a throne But God-with-us, Emmanuel As close as blood and bone. The tiny form in Joseph's palms Confirmed what he had heard And from his heart rose hymns and psalms For heaven's human Word.
 The tools that Joseph laid aside a mob would later lift and use with anger, fear and pride to crucify God's gift. Let us, O Lord, not only hold The Child who's born today But charged with faith, may we behold to follow in His way."

The choir finished practicing the song, and I reached to grab the tissues that poor Caity beside me in the soprano section was handing me. My aunt the choir director quickly explained that the reason i was uncontrollably sobbing was because of the medication I was taking to prepare for pregnancy, and I in between sobs apologized to everyone. It was like i was watching myself cry thinking "Omg Corinne you can stop any time now.." but the tears just kept coming.

Abdominal Pain/Cramping: This is not something I was expecting. I'm experiencing a lot of abdominal pain, as if I were going to start my period. Its the same kind of cramping I feel at the first few months of pregnancy, not painful enough to make me feel like I'm going to start a period, but enough that I can tell something is changing in there. I think it's just the lining of my uterus getting nice and thick for my Nov 29th ultrasound!! I'm telling myself that anyways.

Weight Gain: My abdominal area is bloated. I look pregnant. I guess this happens a lot with this medication, weight gain in the abdominal area. was going to happen anyways right?

Nausea: The first few days on this pill were rough. If I dont eat something when I take this pill I get really sick to my stomach. The other day I took it on an empty stomach and started to feed my daughter her breakfast. I suddenly realized that if I didnt get something into my stomach asap I was going to vomit. I said very calmly to my husband... "Please pour me a bowl of anything so I can eat within the next 3 seconds or I will throw up." He rushed around the kitchen and I shoveled Life cereal crumbs and milk into my mouth...thank god.

Oh...did I mention the constant crying? I think my family has a game going to see who can make Corinne cry the hardest. My birthday was yesterday and my Grandma Pat surprised me with a Dragon quilted wall hanging that she had made for a church silent auction that I wanted, but was sold to some woman I had never heard of.. (little did I know that Chery Woo did not exist!!) I pulled it out and said "This is the hanging that I wanted for Hunter's room!!" and started crying.... THEN I opened a gift from my aunt and pulled out matching mother daughter aprons from the same auction that I had wanted as well. TEARS people....tears.

Then I came home to find the most gorgeous Orchid plant on my doorstep that my IPs (Intended Parents) sent me for my birthday!!!!! I cried again.

I LOVE that these medications are what is helping me to become a surrogate for my IPs.. I'm not complaining at all. It's just so interesting to me what hormones and medication do to the human body and how my own body is experiencing it. Can't wait until this Friday when I have my ultrasound that confirms a Dec. 4th transfer!! :)

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