Monday, July 8, 2013

"Practicing" patience because I'm no expert.

    I've never been a very patient person. Christmas was the hardest. I always wanted to tell my family members what I got them, see their faces right away instead of waiting all that time until Christmas morning.
    When it came to dealing with my strong willed son, I would pray "Lord please give me patience." It seemed to me that God would instead give me more opportunity to cultivate patience. Not exactly what I was looking for God..

But maybe that's exactly how this is going to work. I am checking my email multiple times a day, anxiously waiting to hear from a woman named Ana that I have a couple looking to speak with me about possibly being matched as their surrogate. Maybe...this practice of patience is building on the meaning and the love of the experience. That every day I wait is an added value of love on that final day when I see the couple hold their precious baby(s). Constantly through my life I am showed that God has me on the most perfect time table. I sometimes feel like I go through life as a spiritual infant, crying and wailing at my Father in Heaven because I know what I want.. I want it NOW.. and all the while he is working on creating something even better for me.

I am so anxious to meet my couple, that maybe I need to relax, lean into the love of the experience, and trust that God is preparing the perfect couple to work with. I struggle with being at peace with where I am now. Feeling present in the moment. I need to work on that.

1 comment:

  1. I randomly came across your blog through pinterest. I too am starting out with SAI. This post on patience is exactly the reminder I needed. To lean into my faith and trust that greater things are at work getting this journey ready for me!