Sunday, December 22, 2013

Bed Rest and Blood Tests: The Results are in!

Bed rest was relaxing for all of 4 hours. It was nice to lay there and check my Facebook, email, and watch TV, but after that first 4 hours it got old. My back started to hurt from laying down, and I started having some cramping on Friday, 2 days after the transfer. I took all of this to be good signs, that my uterus was cramping because of the changes it was making into a placenta and a tiny growing surro baby! I had the same crampy feeling with my own children, so I have become pretty good at recognizing what my body was doing.

The Dr said on a piece of paper that he gave me after the transfer that I should NOT take an at home pregnancy test... well...we all know how well I listen to instructions like THAT.. Come ON!! Of course I took a test..or two...or 20. Well on Day 8 I got a positive!!!!! I literally jumped up and down with excitement in my bathroom at 7am...silent celebrating bc my children were still asleep. Then I dropped to my knees in praise. Somewhat of a "Please let that line continue to get darker" prayer. I took a test the next morning and low and behold it was even darker!! Then on day 10 after transfer it was dark enough that I felt comfortable telling my IPs. So I sent a test to IF asking him to call me with IM when they woke up. (It was 3am their time when I sent the message.) At about 6pm they called me. :) They asked how I was and I told them I was fine they said I was on speaker phone. I told them I got a faint positive line that morning and I was hopeful for good news after the blood test. They first said "...wow...wow." and then IM started laughing. I could feel the joy and rekindled hope from over the phone, and I started to tear up. They thanked me for calling them, and when we got off the phone IF sent me a text message again thanking me and saying how in shock they were. I sent them a picture of the pregnancy test, and got ready for some good news at the blood test.

This morning was the blood test. I got dressed and even wore my Batik scarf that my IPs gave me for good luck. I drove down 680 with the biggest smile on my face because I already knew.. I woke up feeling sick, and my tummy was already portruding a little. It happens quickly with me. I show right away, even if the only thing showing is my swollen uterus, and not bc they baby has pushed it out yet. The blood test was quick...and at 11:45am I got a call saying I was officially PREGNANT!!!! I was over the moon, and I go back in on Tuesday morning so they can make sure my numbers continue to go up, and to check the estrogen and progesterone levels to see if my meds need adjusting.

I texted my IPs , and sometime soon they will read it and see that I am for sure pregnant! Merry Christmas to my IPs and to their family. I am overjoyed, and ready to relax and get this baby to grow grow grow!

Ultrasound for the heartbeat is on Jan 6th.. I can't wait.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

The Transfer

The day before my transfer felt more like Christmas Eve than the day before a medical procedure. I spent all day cleaning the house from top to bottom. I even scrubbed my baseboards people... I had to keep busy to pass the time otherwise I would feel too excited. I settled into bed around 12:30, after my daily progesterone shot courtesy of my husband. Emma woke up at 3:40am, and Jason and I took turns trying to help her go back to sleep. I attempted to give her Tylenol around 4am and that triggered her vomiting all over her crib, then me, then the floor. I sat in the bath with her and washed her off while Jason changed sheets and scrubbed the floor clean. It all seemed so poetic to me. This very thing was the reason I wanted to become a surrogate. I had said "On nights where my children are up crying and fussy, or vomiting all over me and themselves, I remember that there are couples in the world who long to be up all night with a child of their own. I want to give those parents sleepless nights as odd as that sounds. I want them to enjoy the moments of parenthood that I experience." And there I was at 4am on the eve of my transfer, covered in vomit and sitting in a tub with my half awake screaming 11 month old. I actually laughed out loud and smiled to myself.
  
 She finally drifted off to sleep around 4:30 or so and still woke up at 7:30am on the dot. That kid is like clockwork. I quickly got up, got dressed while my husband took Emma and Hunter into the play room to watch TV and started my makeup. IF and his father arrived at my house to pick me up and take me to the transfer at 8am. I was only half done with my makeup (hey...if I was going to be stuck in bed all day I wanted to make sure I looked presentable at least.) IF and IM were so sweet and bought gifts for my children and for Jason and I. Hunter got a little set of dinosaurs that he honestly has played with all day, and Emma got a little push popping toy. They were so sweet and gave Jason and I a set of very fine teas. I absolutely love tea so their gift made me so excited!

We got on the road, and IF, his father and I enjoyed the scenery and excitement as we traveled to my appointment. When I checked in, they didn't need blood work and I was called back to a surgical suite fairly quickly. I was prepped, and the nurse checked my bladder via ultrasound to be sure that they could see for the embryo insertion. I was good to go! The Dr brought back IF after a few minutes and IF sat near my head and filmed the transfer of the embryo for me. I wanted to send it to IM so that she could see the transfer even if she wasn't able to be there. Here is that video...


The whole process was entirely pain free. I literally felt no discomfort whatsoever. It was incredibly fascinating to me to think "I'm not pregnant" one moment and then "I could be pregnant right now" the next. Seeing the embryo actually in my uterus gave this pregnancy a different kind of magic. Usually I am used to understanding a very basic concept of conception and how it works. I knew that with my own children, I had sexual intercourse with my husband and 2 weeks later there was a double pink line on a home pregnancy test. This pregnancy will begin with me knowing the exact second IF and IM's embryo was implanted and that is a whole different kind of amazing magic I like to call "Science at the hand of God and his workers." Amazing amazing amazing moment. After the Dr left the room so that I could sit for 5 minutes, they had checked the catheter under a microscope to be sure the embryo was in, I felt emotional. (Big surprise.) The reality of the years of wanting to be a surrogate for a couple, meeting and feeling so strongly for IF and IM and their drive and journey to become parents, and then actually having their embryo inside my belly where it can grow and become a tiny baby brought tears to my eyes. Poor IF... I didn't even unleash my real waterworks around him but I was teary at the magnitude of that moment. Imagine how blubbery I will be at the birth when I see them as parents!!! Oh boy...

I am now sitting on the couch, typing this while lying on my back (its quite entertaining to see..) My dear friend Nicole who is actually more like an Angel has been here helping do everything with the kids since Jason left for work, and we are currently both enjoying over sized jamba juices. I am soooo excited to test for pregnancy... I definitely have 5 tests....I will use all of them.

Thursday, December 5, 2013

We're a go for transfer!!!!

FINALLY!! We are scheduled for a transfer!!! I am so excited I could burst... here is how today went.

I left the house at 8:30am to head to San Ramon and didn't get there until 9:30 exactly because of a huge traffic jam on the way there. Nicole came over (again...I swear the woman is an angel) to watch the kids while Jason went to school to take his final. I was nervous again.. my last reading at my ultrasound was 7.22, and needed to be at least an 8. My estrogen was doubled, but I was still worried that IF came all the way out here for nothing only to be told that we would have to wait another week or so. I rushed into the lobby of the clinic and gave IF a quick hug hello and met his father who was so kind, and grabbed my clipboard to head to the lab. The blood draw was quick and painless. The nurse who always takes my blood was so good I didn't even feel the needle go in. Can she do my progesterone shots please?? Then I headed back to the lobby and (this was so embarrassing) I got so engrosed in conversation with IF and his dad, that I forgot to turn my clipboard in to the nurse at the front desk so we were just sitting there...waiting...for my name that wouldnt be called bc i was holding it in my hand. (Forehead smack) UGh!! Silly me.

The nurse called me right away after I handed in my paperwork (of course), and then I went into the room to situate myself on the table with the cloth over me before the nurse let IF in the room. I've decided that there is no flattering way to sit on a medical table with your legs up in stirrups. There just isn't. IF sat up near my head and was very kind to check to make sure I was still comfortable with him being in the room for my ultrasound.  I was. The nurse took my measurements and we were all so excited to see that I was measuring at 9!! A different angle showed 10, so she averaged out my number to 9.5!! I was so relieved! My transfer date is set to Dec 11th. I start my anti biotics on the 7th, progesterone shots on the 8th, and then they call me on the 9th with a time for my transfer. I will be on bed rest Dec 11th and 12th, and light rest the 13th. I am more excited for this transfer...than I am for Christmas!!! Another Surro-mom said this the other day, and it's just so true!! IM texted me today saying she wished she could be with me today as well. I feel so terrible for her.. I wish she could be here for all of this as well but her health is so much more important, and I will be sharing absolutely everything with her. :)

After the appointment IF and his father took me out to brunch and we really enjoyed fun conversation about Germany, and my kids, and IF's father showed me pictures of IF as a child. So cute!! I just know IF and IM will have a gorgeous baby, they both look like they could be models. IF and IM gave me a beautiful Batik scarf today as well and I was so touched... I wore it tonight to choir practice. It is just so beautiful.

Thats all for now folks... I will update again after the shots...

Sunday, December 1, 2013

Not quite ready...

So I had my Dr's apt. on the 29th  where they took my blood and did a vaginal ultrasound to measure the lining of my uterus. My lining was at a 7.22 which they said was not thick enough yet, so my Estradiol has been doubled (yay) and I go in for another appointment on the 5th for more blood work and another ultrasound. IF is in the US now and ready to come up for my transfer whenever the Dr. gives us the OK.

I'm really anxious.. I want everything to go perfectly for IF and IM, and for the Dr to say at my next appointment that all is ready to go! By the way, the first few days on Estradiol kicked my butt, and I am back in the crappy phase again as I adjust to a double dosage. I now take 6 pills of Estradiol a day. 2 at a time. It feels like I have the flu, but without the muscle aches.. oh and really moody. My grandma tried to tell me that there was a new young lady at church today and I snapped back with "uhm...ok." instead of realizing that she was trying to show me so I could make a friend. (forehead smack) ughhh.. sorry Grandma. The non hormonal me in the back of my mind gasped and recoiled at my rude response, but the surface me just half smiled and walked away.

I just hope I get some good news on the 5th when I go back in for this next ultrasound. Staying positive and thinking good thoughts!