Two buns!?! The Transfer

At 5am Sunday morning my alarm went off. I have it set to this beautifully calming piano music, so when it seeped into my unconscious mind, my awakening was less a startled on, and more a gentle awareness. I dressed, crept into my kids's room and kissed them each goodbye while they slept, and then said goodbye to my husband. I used my Uber app to call a ride, and waited. In the dark and cold rain, I pulled my luggage out to his white mercedes that waited for me. He was a shorter man, of darker complexion, and he had the biggest smile on his face. "Good morning!" This man had obviously had his coffee already. I smiled and climbed into his back seat and we drove down the road. "So you're headed to SFO, holiday vacation?" Here came the moment where I had to ask myself, "Do I tell this stranger where I'm actually going? Or do I reserve the information for myself?" I can generally tell by a person's demeanor how well the truth in this case will be received and I decided to be honest. I said "Well actually I'm on my way to San Diego because I'm going to be a surrogate mother and carry a baby for two amazing men." The driver looked at me through the rearview, and I could hear him audibly get choked up. He just kept saying "Wow.. I just...wow thats amazing. Wow." I smiled, and watched out the window as we drove down Hwy 101, the rain was getting harder. "My wife and I tried for 13 years to get pregnant.." he said. I was floored. I turned back to him and listened as he unfolded his tender story of infertility with his wife, and the adoption of his girls, and the miracle baby that God surprised them with 6 years ago. I couldn't believe it. Sitting in my Uber car, on my way to be a surrogate again, was another couple who had faced the difficult battle of infertility. I was covered in goosebumps as he continued to praise my sacrifice, and how moved he was that I would do something such as this for anyone. I'll tell you right then and there, the spirit was in that car. It was as if God were next to me squeezing my hands saying "Hunny this is exactly the right thing.. you are exactly where I want you to be and I'm proud of you." It was all I could do to not well up in tears at this God-wink moment. We pulled up at the airport and said our goodbyes, and the Uber driver told me I would be in his prayers tonight with his family. I checked my bags, boarded my plane, and watched the morning sunrise from above stormy clouds..

When I landed, I walked to the Uber pick up zone and waited for my ride who was to take me to my pre-transfer ultrasound. As usually happens in a cab or Uber, he asked where I was going, again faced with that "Do I tell?" moment, I chose again to be honest. The driver again was floored, and told me that his ex wife and he wanted children, but because of physical limitation on her, she wasn't able to ever carry a baby. He told me he was honored to be driving me to my appointment. I again couldn't believe that God had placed someone else in my path that assured me yet again how what I was doing was exactly what I was called to do. There is something so peaceful and beautiful in knowing that what you're doing is right, and good. It felt like the happiest day of my life, and I walked into Dr. Smotrich's office, luggage in hand, and sat in the ultrasound room for my check. There...on the wall of his office was something incredible....

After Alaya was born, I got a tattoo. This tattoo was a symbol of my life and journey, and is a vine of morning glories, and jazmine winding up my back. Morning glories because they grew outside of my window as a child, one flower for my husband, and one for each of my children. The jasmine flowers are Indonesia's national flower, so I got them in representation of my last surrogacy. One flower for each member of my last IP's family. Here, in the office of Dr. Smotrich, painted on the wall..was my tattoo..

I couldn't believe it..I laughed out loud.

My lining was a 14mm thickness, they usually look for 8. I was ready to go. That night at about 10pm, my IF#1 for to our hotel and came to my room. He hugged me, and gave me gifts for our night before transfer. A necklace that represented me, and the two little embryos they would impact the next morning, and a gorgeous bracelet made of black leather and gold. Candied bacon, cookies, and christmas ornaments all from local shops near their vacation home. They were all incredibly thoughtful gifts and I chose to wear the necklace and bracelet the next morning for good luck.

Transfer day

I ate my breakfast in my room, dressed, put my makeup on, looked at myself in the mirror and smiled to myself. This was it. The day my IFs had waited for. I was so excited I was almost shaky. I met IF at his room, and we drove to the appointment where we met Holly from SAI my agency in the lobby. She handed me a gift bag with snacks and a journal for keeping track of my journey, and the good luck transfer monkey toy. A nurse soon came out to get me and I signed some paperwork mainly stating that I consented to the procedure, before taking a vallium and undressing from the waist down and wearing a gown and hair net. I laid on the table with a warm blanket and socks on while the nurse brought in my IF. He sat up by my head while the nurse prepped me and Dr. Smotrich came in and showed us the photo of both embryos. Then he inserted the speculum, and catheter into my uterus through my cervix. IF#2 joined us on FaceTime and watched with IF#1 as both their little babies, one boy and one girl, were placed snuggly into my uterus. Then the catheter was removed and I was instructed to lay there for 30 mins.

After the little babies were settled, Dr. Smotrich placed his hands on my belly and offered a beautiful blessing. The room was emotional and we were all struck at the beauty and gravity of that moment. It was truly God in that room with us, and I could feel the love surrounding these babies entirely. What a beautiful story they will hear, that they were placed into a warm womb and wrapped in total love. 

Ive been on bed rest for 2 days now. My IF has taken such incredible care of me, bringing me food, making sure my room is tidy, and beating me at UNO 8 times out of 10. ;) He's pretty brutal when it comes to UNO folks..do not be fooled by his charming sweetness. ;) hehe The lovely Ann Miranda from SAI has driven to my hotel every night to give me my Progesterone shots!! This woman is an angel people, she is so amazing and I wish I lived closer to her because we would probably hang out a lot. So the only thing I notice today is being very tired, and extremely thirsty. I've had so much water it's insane. I keep drinking bottle after bottle of it, and it's still not enough. I'm hoping these are all good signs. Tomorrow is my last day of bed rest, and IF#1 leaves on his flight tomorrow, but my older brother is coming to visit me so I'm excited to see him! 

This journey is off to an amazing start, filled with love, and blessings and hope. I couldn't ask for a more amazing agency, IPs, family, friends. Everyone who has said prayers for these babies, the loved ones who are helping my husband as he cares for our children without me there, all of it. Thank you.