Bed Rest and Blood Tests: The Results are in!

Bed rest was relaxing for all of 4 hours. It was nice to lay there and check my Facebook, email, and watch TV, but after that first 4 hours it got old. My back started to hurt from laying down, and I started having some cramping on Friday, 2 days after the transfer. I took all of this to be good signs, that my uterus was cramping because of the changes it was making into a placenta and a tiny growing surro baby! I had the same crampy feeling with my own children, so I have become pretty good at recognizing what my body was doing.

The Dr said on a piece of paper that he gave me after the transfer that I should NOT take an at home pregnancy test... well...we all know how well I listen to instructions like THAT.. Come ON!! Of course I took a test..or two...or 20. Well on Day 8 I got a positive!!!!! I literally jumped up and down with excitement in my bathroom at 7am...silent celebrating bc my children were still asleep. Then I dropped to my knees in praise. Somewhat of a "Please let that line continue to get darker" prayer. I took a test the next morning and low and behold it was even darker!! Then on day 10 after transfer it was dark enough that I felt comfortable telling my IPs. So I sent a test to IF asking him to call me with IM when they woke up. (It was 3am their time when I sent the message.) At about 6pm they called me. :) They asked how I was and I told them I was fine they said I was on speaker phone. I told them I got a faint positive line that morning and I was hopeful for good news after the blood test. They first said "...wow...wow." and then IM started laughing. I could feel the joy and rekindled hope from over the phone, and I started to tear up. They thanked me for calling them, and when we got off the phone IF sent me a text message again thanking me and saying how in shock they were. I sent them a picture of the pregnancy test, and got ready for some good news at the blood test.

This morning was the blood test. I got dressed and even wore my Batik scarf that my IPs gave me for good luck. I drove down 680 with the biggest smile on my face because I already knew.. I woke up feeling sick, and my tummy was already portruding a little. It happens quickly with me. I show right away, even if the only thing showing is my swollen uterus, and not bc they baby has pushed it out yet. The blood test was quick...and at 11:45am I got a call saying I was officially PREGNANT!!!! I was over the moon, and I go back in on Tuesday morning so they can make sure my numbers continue to go up, and to check the estrogen and progesterone levels to see if my meds need adjusting.

I texted my IPs , and sometime soon they will read it and see that I am for sure pregnant! Merry Christmas to my IPs and to their family. I am overjoyed, and ready to relax and get this baby to grow grow grow!

Ultrasound for the heartbeat is on Jan 6th.. I can't wait.

The Transfer

The day before my transfer felt more like Christmas Eve than the day before a medical procedure. I spent all day cleaning the house from top to bottom. I even scrubbed my baseboards people... I had to keep busy to pass the time otherwise I would feel too excited. I settled into bed around 12:30, after my daily progesterone shot courtesy of my husband. Emma woke up at 3:40am, and Jason and I took turns trying to help her go back to sleep. I attempted to give her Tylenol around 4am and that triggered her vomiting all over her crib, then me, then the floor. I sat in the bath with her and washed her off while Jason changed sheets and scrubbed the floor clean. It all seemed so poetic to me. This very thing was the reason I wanted to become a surrogate. I had said "On nights where my children are up crying and fussy, or vomiting all over me and themselves, I remember that there are couples in the world who long to be up all night with a child of their own. I want to give those parents sleepless nights as odd as that sounds. I want them to enjoy the moments of parenthood that I experience." And there I was at 4am on the eve of my transfer, covered in vomit and sitting in a tub with my half awake screaming 11 month old. I actually laughed out loud and smiled to myself.
  
 She finally drifted off to sleep around 4:30 or so and still woke up at 7:30am on the dot. That kid is like clockwork. I quickly got up, got dressed while my husband took Emma and Hunter into the play room to watch TV and started my makeup. IF and his father arrived at my house to pick me up and take me to the transfer at 8am. I was only half done with my makeup (hey...if I was going to be stuck in bed all day I wanted to make sure I looked presentable at least.) IF and IM were so sweet and bought gifts for my children and for Jason and I. Hunter got a little set of dinosaurs that he honestly has played with all day, and Emma got a little push popping toy. They were so sweet and gave Jason and I a set of very fine teas. I absolutely love tea so their gift made me so excited!

We got on the road, and IF, his father and I enjoyed the scenery and excitement as we traveled to my appointment. When I checked in, they didn't need blood work and I was called back to a surgical suite fairly quickly. I was prepped, and the nurse checked my bladder via ultrasound to be sure that they could see for the embryo insertion. I was good to go! The Dr brought back IF after a few minutes and IF sat near my head and filmed the transfer of the embryo for me. I wanted to send it to IM so that she could see the transfer even if she wasn't able to be there. Here is that video...

The whole process was entirely pain free. I literally felt no discomfort whatsoever. It was incredibly fascinating to me to think "I'm not pregnant" one moment and then "I could be pregnant right now" the next. Seeing the embryo actually in my uterus gave this pregnancy a different kind of magic. Usually I am used to understanding a very basic concept of conception and how it works. I knew that with my own children, I had sexual intercourse with my husband and 2 weeks later there was a double pink line on a home pregnancy test. This pregnancy will begin with me knowing the exact second IF and IM's embryo was implanted and that is a whole different kind of amazing magic I like to call "Science at the hand of God and his workers." Amazing amazing amazing moment. After the Dr left the room so that I could sit for 5 minutes, they had checked the catheter under a microscope to be sure the embryo was in, I felt emotional. (Big surprise.) The reality of the years of wanting to be a surrogate for a couple, meeting and feeling so strongly for IF and IM and their drive and journey to become parents, and then actually having their embryo inside my belly where it can grow and become a tiny baby brought tears to my eyes. Poor IF... I didn't even unleash my real waterworks around him but I was teary at the magnitude of that moment. Imagine how blubbery I will be at the birth when I see them as parents!!! Oh boy...

I am now sitting on the couch, typing this while lying on my back (its quite entertaining to see..) My dear friend Nicole who is actually more like an Angel has been here helping do everything with the kids since Jason left for work, and we are currently both enjoying over sized jamba juices. I am soooo excited to test for pregnancy... I definitely have 5 tests....I will use all of them.

We're a go for transfer!!!!

FINALLY!! We are scheduled for a transfer!!! I am so excited I could burst... here is how today went.

I left the house at 8:30am to head to San Ramon and didn't get there until 9:30 exactly because of a huge traffic jam on the way there. Nicole came over (again...I swear the woman is an angel) to watch the kids while Jason went to school to take his final. I was nervous again.. my last reading at my ultrasound was 7.22, and needed to be at least an 8. My estrogen was doubled, but I was still worried that IF came all the way out here for nothing only to be told that we would have to wait another week or so. I rushed into the lobby of the clinic and gave IF a quick hug hello and met his father who was so kind, and grabbed my clipboard to head to the lab. The blood draw was quick and painless. The nurse who always takes my blood was so good I didn't even feel the needle go in. Can she do my progesterone shots please?? Then I headed back to the lobby and (this was so embarrassing) I got so engrosed in conversation with IF and his dad, that I forgot to turn my clipboard in to the nurse at the front desk so we were just sitting there...waiting...for my name that wouldnt be called bc i was holding it in my hand. (Forehead smack) UGh!! Silly me.

The nurse called me right away after I handed in my paperwork (of course), and then I went into the room to situate myself on the table with the cloth over me before the nurse let IF in the room. I've decided that there is no flattering way to sit on a medical table with your legs up in stirrups. There just isn't. IF sat up near my head and was very kind to check to make sure I was still comfortable with him being in the room for my ultrasound.  I was. The nurse took my measurements and we were all so excited to see that I was measuring at 9!! A different angle showed 10, so she averaged out my number to 9.5!! I was so relieved! My transfer date is set to Dec 11th. I start my anti biotics on the 7th, progesterone shots on the 8th, and then they call me on the 9th with a time for my transfer. I will be on bed rest Dec 11th and 12th, and light rest the 13th. I am more excited for this transfer...than I am for Christmas!!! Another Surro-mom said this the other day, and it's just so true!! IM texted me today saying she wished she could be with me today as well. I feel so terrible for her.. I wish she could be here for all of this as well but her health is so much more important, and I will be sharing absolutely everything with her. :)

After the appointment IF and his father took me out to brunch and we really enjoyed fun conversation about Germany, and my kids, and IF's father showed me pictures of IF as a child. So cute!! I just know IF and IM will have a gorgeous baby, they both look like they could be models. IF and IM gave me a beautiful Batik scarf today as well and I was so touched... I wore it tonight to choir practice. It is just so beautiful.

Thats all for now folks... I will update again after the shots...

Not quite ready...

So I had my Dr's apt. on the 29th  where they took my blood and did a vaginal ultrasound to measure the lining of my uterus. My lining was at a 7.22 which they said was not thick enough yet, so my Estradiol has been doubled (yay) and I go in for another appointment on the 5th for more blood work and another ultrasound. IF is in the US now and ready to come up for my transfer whenever the Dr. gives us the OK.

I'm really anxious.. I want everything to go perfectly for IF and IM, and for the Dr to say at my next appointment that all is ready to go! By the way, the first few days on Estradiol kicked my butt, and I am back in the crappy phase again as I adjust to a double dosage. I now take 6 pills of Estradiol a day. 2 at a time. It feels like I have the flu, but without the muscle aches.. oh and really moody. My grandma tried to tell me that there was a new young lady at church today and I snapped back with "uhm...ok." instead of realizing that she was trying to show me so I could make a friend. (forehead smack) ughhh.. sorry Grandma. The non hormonal me in the back of my mind gasped and recoiled at my rude response, but the surface me just half smiled and walked away.

I just hope I get some good news on the 5th when I go back in for this next ultrasound. Staying positive and thinking good thoughts!

Estradiol...its a love/hate kinda thing.

So I have been on Estradiol for about 8 days now, and man has it been a ride. I take Estradiol via oral pill 3 times daily. I had a feeling I would get some of the symptoms, but I had no idea how much I would be affected by it.

Highly Emotional: I cry at the weirdest things. The other day I cried while watching The Brave Little Toaster...uhhh hello..weirdest movie ever and there I was sobbing. Then I had a full on ugly cry break down at Choir practice last Thursday when we sang this song... Just read it and listen to the video below and TRY not to bawl...

 "The hands that first held Mary's child,Were hard from working wood. From boards they sawed and nailed and filed And splinters they withstood .
This day they gripped no tool of steel. They drove no iron nail, But cradled from the head to heel
Our Lord, newborn and frail. When Joseph marvelled at the size of that small breathing frame, And gazed upon those bright new eyes and spoke the infant's name.
The angel's voice he once had dreamed poured out from heaven's height, And like the host of stars that gleamed Blessed earth with welcome light.
This Child will be Emmanuel, Not God upon a throne But God-with-us, Emmanuel As close as blood and bone. The tiny form in Joseph's palms Confirmed what he had heard And from his heart rose hymns and psalms For heaven's human Word.
 The tools that Joseph laid aside a mob would later lift and use with anger, fear and pride to crucify God's gift. Let us, O Lord, not only hold The Child who's born today But charged with faith, may we behold to follow in His way."

The choir finished practicing the song, and I reached to grab the tissues that poor Caity beside me in the soprano section was handing me. My aunt the choir director quickly explained that the reason i was uncontrollably sobbing was because of the medication I was taking to prepare for pregnancy, and I in between sobs apologized to everyone. It was like i was watching myself cry thinking "Omg Corinne you can stop any time now.." but the tears just kept coming.

Abdominal Pain/Cramping: This is not something I was expecting. I'm experiencing a lot of abdominal pain, as if I were going to start my period. Its the same kind of cramping I feel at the first few months of pregnancy, not painful enough to make me feel like I'm going to start a period, but enough that I can tell something is changing in there. I think it's just the lining of my uterus getting nice and thick for my Nov 29th ultrasound!! I'm telling myself that anyways.

Weight Gain: My abdominal area is bloated. I look pregnant. I guess this happens a lot with this medication, weight gain in the abdominal area. Well.....it was going to happen anyways right?

Nausea: The first few days on this pill were rough. If I dont eat something when I take this pill I get really sick to my stomach. The other day I took it on an empty stomach and started to feed my daughter her breakfast. I suddenly realized that if I didnt get something into my stomach asap I was going to vomit. I said very calmly to my husband... "Please pour me a bowl of anything so I can eat within the next 3 seconds or I will throw up." He rushed around the kitchen and I shoveled Life cereal crumbs and milk into my mouth...thank god.

Oh...did I mention the constant crying? I think my family has a game going to see who can make Corinne cry the hardest. My birthday was yesterday and my Grandma Pat surprised me with a Dragon quilted wall hanging that she had made for a church silent auction that I wanted, but was sold to some woman I had never heard of.. (little did I know that Chery Woo did not exist!!) I pulled it out and said "This is the hanging that I wanted for Hunter's room!!" and started crying.... THEN I opened a gift from my aunt and pulled out matching mother daughter aprons from the same auction that I had wanted as well. TEARS people....tears.

Then I came home to find the most gorgeous Orchid plant on my doorstep that my IPs (Intended Parents) sent me for my birthday!!!!! I cried again.

I LOVE that these medications are what is helping me to become a surrogate for my IPs.. I'm not complaining at all. It's just so interesting to me what hormones and medication do to the human body and how my own body is experiencing it. Can't wait until this Friday when I have my ultrasound that confirms a Dec. 4th transfer!! :)

A transfer date!!!

Its officially happening!! I have a tentative transfer date of December 4th. My period started yesterday and I started my medication today. Estradiol that I take 3 times daily, baby asprin once a day, prenatal vitimins and then I have some ultrasounds and blood work done. On Nov 29th they do a final check to measure my uterine lining. When they see that it's nice and thick (bc it will be, I am thinking nicely lined thoughts) they will officially schedule my transfer for the 4th of December!! The 29th of Nov will begin my Progesterone Oil shots in my hip every day until I am 12 weeks pregnant, and also a progesterone gel caplet that is taken vaginally every day. (Weird I know.. but hey...it's the medical facts and I TOLD you I was going to be blunt didn't I?)

My IF is coming out for the transfer and I am so excited to see him! IM can't come out because she is still recovering from some medical complications and can't fly just yet. Indonesia is a looooong couple of flights away. I plan on skyping the appointment though so she can be a part of it. If not, I will record the ultrasound where we can see them insert the embryo! Either way I want to be sure she is 100% included and so she can see her little baby from day 1!!

In the words of Linguini from Rattatouie "Lets do this thing!!"

SAI Surrogate Retreat in LA...

This weekend was the SAI surrogate's retreat in Los Angeles. The retreat is paid for by the intended parents and is truly a gift for the surrogate mothers of SAI to get time to bond with each other, and talk about our experiences while enjoying a nice holiday without our kids. My flight left on Friday afternoon at 1pm. The flight was a little bumpy coming in to LAX airport, but other than that the flight was smooth and I had a lovely conversation with a woman on her way to visit her son at UCLA. I always cherish the conversations I have with people on airplanes. Its my belief that every flight I take, God puts me beside someone who could either benefit from knowing me, or who I could benefit from knowing, that our souls would enjoy the brief meeting and then continue on our way. The mother of the UCLA student gave me pause to think about my children in the season of life that they are in now, and to appreciate how quickly it goes by. When I landed I checked my phone because I was supposed to meet up with another surrogate mother named Daisy who was also flying into LAX, where we would then carpool together to the Hilton hotel in Universal City. My phone lit up with a text from her saying that she had missed her flight, and I reassured her that I would be fine, and to not worry. I grabbed a cab and told Maximo the grandfather from Mexico City, that I needed to go to Universal City..to the Hilton hotel. He smiled and pushed up her very large rimmed glasses and said "Ok you have credit card?" I said "Yes I do." He said "Is it good??" and then followed that with a hearty laugh,popped the trunk to load my suitcase and camera bag.

I had forgotten just how much I hated LA traffic...the ride along the 405 freeway swiftly reminded me. Not only did cars sit stopped along the freeway, but motorcycles weaved in and out of traffic, and blinkers served more as warnings to the other cars to speed up and close the gap rather than as means to let you over. When I arrived at the Hilton in Universal City, it's safe to say that I felt nothing short of Royalty. The bell man opened my taxi door, and lifted me gently from the vehicle by my hand. There was a long red carpet from the car door to the glass automatic doors of the hotel, and upon entry I was greeted by one of the largest chandeliers I have ever seen. The woman at the front desk welcomed me very kindly and gave me my room key. I would be in room 1556 on the 15th floor. As I stood in the elevator with my bags, watching the lights on each floor slowly go up, I noticed that there was no 13th floor in the hotel. The lights jumped directly from 12-14. My roommate had not yet arrived, and I took the time alone in the room to remove my boots, and sprawl possessively across my bed. The comforter was heavy and made from down feathers, and I let myself nestle into the covers. I missed my kids, but I was excited for the weekend to start. My roommate Antoinette arrived shortly after, and we hit it off instantly. Our personalities seemed to mesh nicely and we gathered our White elephant gifts for the gift exchange that night and headed to the ball room where our dinner was to be. Some of the girls had already arrived and I greeted Monica and Bernadette with hugs. It was so great to meet the SAI team in person. We had spoken on the phone and through email often, but there's something about seeing someone eye to eye that just makes that relationship real. Monica and Bernadette are so nice, and Bernadette's laugh was contagious. You couldn't help smiling as she laughed, even if you weren't in on the conversation. I helped myself to a plate of watermelon turkey, the most amazing mashed potatoes, and some grilled veggies. Afterwards we exhanged white elephant gifts and I ended up with a White elephant scarf and a gift card to TJ Max. Score!!

This is all my loot I got from the night! We got a goody bag that had the softest blanket, a home made candle, socks, a necklace, soap etc. It was lovely. The night was so much fun. On Saturday we woke up for breakfast at 8am, and headed to Warner Brothers Studios at 9am, where I was able to see the original costumes from Harry Potter, as well as the Friends set!! I even got to sit on the COUCH!!! It was a dream come true. We ate lunch at Bubba Gump's Shrimp and enjoyed a stroll looking at the shops at Universal Studios. I got the kids some little stuffed animals, and then headed back to the hotel with Antoinette where I took some maternity photos of her. At 7pm we met at the Hard Rock Cafe and enjoyed a meal together, and shouted our conversations above Aerosmith and Alkaline Trio.

I think my favorite part of this retreat was the individual time I got to spend with each woman, to hear her story. Sometimes her previous or surrogate experience sounded like a nightmare with IPs going back on their agreements, or never sending any updates on how their baby was doing, and sometimes the surrogacy story was just as she hoped, with healthy and happy babies and friendships that either stay or fade exactly as the surrogate hoped. I thought about my own IPs this weekend frequently, and about how lucky I was to have such a good relationship with them. We communicate often and are always very open about things. Seeing all of the beautiful bellies made me emotional and so excited for my own transfer hopefully at the end of this month.

I can only describe the bond I felt to the surrogate ladies as similar to what I felt surrounded by other Marine Wives during a deployment in that no one had to explain what they felt, or why they felt it...bc we all understood. We all knew. We were all on the same roller coaster. I didn't realize how much I craved the support and the community of women in surrogacy until this weekend. I made some friendships I have a feeling will be lasting, and now have a whole slew of women who are here to support me as I continue on this journey of surrogacy.